Believing in oneself and one's inherent abilities---these are at the heart of self-confidence. But how, exactly, do we gauge who has it and who doesn't? It's a pretty wishy-washy exercise--just sitting down and asking, "Do I trust myself? Can I rely on myself?" Having a more concrete form of appraisal is helpful.
Step 1
Define your terms. Dr. Tom Stevens, author of "You Can Choose to Be Happy," defines self-confidence as "the expected probability that a person will achieve a goal in a certain situation." Note that he mentions it is situation-specific, not absolute. In other words, overall self-confidence can be examined first by breaking down one's level of self-assurance in specific areas.
Step 2
Pay attention to what areas of life skills provoke successful or unsuccessful outcomes. A person who excels in a wide number of academic subjects as well as social interactions, conflict resolution and socially valued activities (such as sports, dance or the arts) is more likely to have a positive overall self-image. On the other hand, someone who consistently struggles in these or similar life areas may have a comparatively poor self-image. Realize that the vast majority of people fall somewhere in the middle.
Step 3
Notice the impact that outside influences have on a person's self-image. Where situational mastery through perseverance and hard work are the best builders of esteem, social persuasion also plays a key role in how an individual sees himself. In other words, people who are repeatedly told they can do it often are inspired to give greater effort to a task, particularly compared to those who harbor self-doubt or get outside negative messages. Look at the quality of a person's support system and you will find clues to a person's positive or negative self-image.
Step 4
Examine stress reactions closely and notice how a person interprets them. Albert Bandura, father of psychology's social learning theory, stresses that it is less about the intensity of a person's emotions and more about her interpretation of those emotions. A positive mood, he claims, enhances an individual's ability to believe he will be successful while a negative mood diminishes it. Those who have a high state of "self-efficacy" (a term he coined in his research) will view their emotional arousal as performance enhancing, he claims. However, those with lower self-efficacy are more likely to have self-doubt and to see their emotions as debilitating.
Step 5
Assess a person's commitment to her goals and the degree of her follow-through. Those who believe strongly in themselves are more apt to reinforce their efforts and refuse to give up quickly when met with challenges along the road to their goals. In contrast, those who are slow to bounce back after a setback tend to view their failures as a lack of aptitude. They lose both faith in their abilities and the stamina to complete what they started.
Tips and Warnings
- Be gentle with others when approaching them about their level of self-confidence. Dare to look at yourself as well as others when completing this process and be slow to judge.
Member Comments