Becoming a surrogate mother is a life-changing decision, but one that can be very rewarding. Surrogate mothers experience pregnancy for a woman who is facing infertility and is unable to carry her own child. The surrogate will receive medical care throughout the entire process. Financial compensation will depend upon the method through which surrogacy is arranged and each individual circumstance. Surrogate mothers often work with heterosexual couples, but there are also homosexual couples and single women looking for surrogate mothers. Any references to intended parents are meant to be inclusive of all potential parents.
Before You Begin
Step 1
Make sure you are eligible. Women must be between 18 and 38 and have had a successful pregnancy where they raised the child. You cannot be a smoker. Some places will have additional requirements.
Step 2
Research surrogacy. It is important to familiarize yourself with the laws of pregnancy and surrogacy in your state, as well as with your insurance coverage. Additionally, do extensive reading on the experience to ensure you are ready.
Step 3
Decide if you prefer to use an agency or to be an independent surrogate. By using an agency, you are allowing others to match and mediate the process, but being independent allows you the opportunity to make the match, negotiate the terms and manage the process.
Using an Agency
Step 1
Apply to agencies in your area to find the one that best meets your needs. You will need to have an interview with them as well so you can mutually make the choice of the best fit. They likely will schedule medical and psychological testing to ensure you are fit to be a surrogate.
Step 2
Meet with staff, and review potential couples. It is important that you feel compatible with the intended parents, as you will have to work closely with them for the duration of the pregnancy.
Step 3
Meet with the selected intended parents to ensure it is a good fit for all parties involved. At this time, you might sign a legal agreement, or it might be done in a follow-up meeting.
Step 4
Schedule and undergo additional medical screenings, and begin to lay out the course of medications, injections and appointments as you become a surrogate mother. There are multiple courses of treatment available, and the agency and your doctor will help determine the best option for you. There will typically be a sperm donation, however some women are unable to also provide an egg donation. It will be important for you to consider these options and discuss them with your physician.
Step 5
Follow your plan exactly. Notify the agency and intended parents of any additional appointments or concerns, and notify both when you go into labor.
Being an Independent Surrogate
Step 1
Use websites and online forums to find potential intended parents who wish to have a private surrogate experience.
Step 2
Interview the couples you find to determine if you have the same expectations of the experience. Without and agency intermediary, there are many more things to consider as someone else will not have done background checks for you.
Step 3
Discuss medical care, legal documents and payment structure. You will need to work out a legal contract that all parties are comfortable with. It might be beneficial to involve legal counsel to represent yourself and ensure your needs are adequately addressed.
Step 4
Remain in constant contact with the intended parents throughout the process, especially if there are any concerns, and when you go into labor.
