1. Does Your Child Tolerate Separation?
Recognize your child's persistent difficulties with being apart from you as a possible sign of separation anxiety. In the toddler years it's not only typical, but developmentally normal for your child to cry when she's left behind, but it's usually a transient experience from which she can easily be distracted. On the other hand, if your elementary school-age child seems panicked that something will happen to you when you're not right there, cries inconsolably, tries to find ways to avoid going places without you or insists on being your shadow day and night, her anxiety level is not within the typical range and warrants investigation.
2. Does Your Child Worry Excessively?
Be aware of how everyday life concerns affect your child, especially when he hits those intermediate years between the ages of 9 and 12. A kid who tends to worry excessively and obsessively about school performance, the state of the world, his health and the health of his family members could be exhibiting signs of generalized anxiety disorder. His worry may also keep him up at night or make him cranky and unfocused. Of course, most kids worry from time to time, but it's important to recognize whether your child can control his worries or whether they seem to be controlling him.
3. Is Your Adolescent Withdrawing From Social Situations?
Notice whether your teen or tween seems to spend more time in her room than normal. Withdrawing from social situations and not wanting to participate in extracurricular activities are signs typically associated with depression, but they can also be signs of social anxiety. And, while you may appreciate your child not tying up the phone line or running up a huge cell bill, not reaching out to friends is also worthy of consideration. Talk to your child's teacher if you are seeing some these signs at home. He may have recognized similar symptoms in school: discomfort talking in front of the class, sitting alone during social periods or an inordinate number of trips to the nurse for stomachaches, dizziness or other anxiety-related somatic complaints.
4. Take the ADAA Parent Test
Take the Anxiety Disorders Association of America's parent test (http://www.adaa.org/GettingHelp/SelfHelpTests/selftest_parents.asp) if you suspect your child is showing signs of anxiety. The brief questionnaire consists of 12 yes/no items asking about your child's thoughts, habits and somatic symptoms. Take a moment to think about the things that are of concern to you before you answer the questions, as being able to quantify your worries will be very helpful. For example, recognizing that your child's peer relationships aren't age-appropriate is a lot more specific than the vague concern that he has problems with his friends. Answer the questions as honestly as possible, take notes of the results and have them available when you speak to your child's pediatrician.
