Strong-willed children rarely go without providing challenges and problems for their parents. Dr. James Dobson of Focus on the Family believes that no matter how well you parent, a strong-willed child is bound to cause trouble and test your abilities as a parent. No matter how difficult these children make your job, you can employ a few strategies to make your parenting work easier.
Seek Child's Input (Sometimes)
In some situations, letting your child make his own decisions or give suggestions in areas where he can't cause much trouble can help empower him and make it easier for him to handle being disregarded when you can't appease him. Letting him pick out his clothes for the day or help choose the menu for lunch and dinner will make him feel like his opinion is valued. When you can't appease him, such as when he has to dress up or is forced to do things he doesn't want, he'll be more likely to go along with less of a fight.
Choices, Not Commands
Strong-willed children tend to bristle when given a command from their parents, according to Families Online Magazine. Instead of ordering your children to do something, presenting two options (that you can handle) will make your child feel like she is in control of the situation. If your child won't put on footwear, give her the option of wearing shoes or sandals, or, if she has left food uneaten on her plate, give her the option of finishing her meal and having dessert or not finishing and skipping dessert.
Problem-Solving
Because many strong-willed children are problem-solvers, presenting tasks as a problem needing solving will stimulate your child's mind and make him feel involved in the situation. This can be a creative way of accomplishing tasks and chores without giving your child a mandate, and he won't feel like he's being forced into it.
Be Patient
Allow your child time for her to find herself and process her emotions, even if you aren't sure that's what she needs. Stay calm even when your child is unruly and difficult to manage or connect with, and don't write your child off--she will come around eventually, but abandoning her emotionally while she's struggling to get along easily in her world will only compound her frustration.
