Dealing with children can be difficult at times, regardless of their age. Whether children are experiencing what are commonly known as the terrible twos or the awful threes or going through the emotional throes of teenage-hood, most parents experience periods of uncertainty and difficulty at times during a child's formative years. Learning a variety of strategies to deal with difficult, angry, belligerent or sad children is an effective way to offer solid and loving support to children.
Plan Ahead
While it's impossible to anticipate how a child or teen may react to any given situation, it's often advisable for parents and caregivers to determine ahead of time the best methods for dealing with a variety of emotions or scenarios, suggests Karin Suesser, child psychologist. For example, Suesser suggests using rules that are constant and equal for all children in the family. Be consistent in regard to bedtime, curfew and consequences of disobedience.
Be Positive
Instead of continuously telling children or teens what they're doing wrong, or asking why they don't listen to you, use positive remarks and encouragements to elicit the behavior you're looking for, Suesser suggests. For example, offer ways to circumvent bad behavior. Offer paper and crayons to a child scribbling on a wall, or show a child how to pull weeds instead of flowers in the back yard.
Set Boundaries
Teach children of all ages the boundaries of what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior, especially in angry children, suggests Richard Niolon, clinical psychologist writing for PsychPage. His main focus is on telling children what they should do instead of what they shouldn't do. For example, recognize good behavior and actions and do your best to ignore less-desired behaviors as long as they aren't hurting anyone, such as them tugging on your arm while you're on the phone. If children whine or get louder, gently say "no" or "I'll talk with you in just a minute."
Provide Physical Activity
Engaging a child or teen in physical activities may diffuse anger, frustration or boredom, suggests Niolon. Encourage children to express such anger in ways that won't damage property or hurt someone else. Let them pound their pillow, kick a plastic trash can outside or another such activity. When they've calmed down a little, give them a hug, let them know you're there for them, and that even parents and adults get angry once in a while. It's OK to feel anger but not to hurt others or lash out because of it.
