Separation anxiety is a normal part of childhood and parenting. When your child realizes that you exist even when he can't see you, he might start to get upset, throw tantrums or cry when you leave him. For many parents, this is unsettling. No one wants to see their child in distress and upset. Following some basic tips can help reduce your child's separation anxiety.
Start Small
When your child is between the ages of eight months and one year, separation anxiety might start to appear, according to KidsHealth.org. During this time period, you should schedule short periods of time when you won't be around. Leave your child with someone familiar such as a neighbor who comes over on a regular basis or with your baby's grandma who she sees weekly. Don't leave your child with a complete stranger for a long period of time while she's between the ages of eight months and one year; doing so might increase her separation anxiety issues and lead to her developing a separation anxiety disorder.
Talk About It
Prepare your child for your departure by letting him know that you'll be leaving and he'll be staying with his grandfather. Let him know that it's okay to miss you but also get him excited to spend time with his grandparent by telling him something that they'll do together. For instance, tell him that he's going to have so much fun going to the park and playing on the playground. Even if you think your child is too young to understand, your reassuring voice and calm demeanor will help.
Goodbye Ritual
Plan a goodbye ritual and stick to it each time. Your child will find comfort in the ritual and soon realize that you'll return. Tell her when you're going to come back when you say goodbye. Your child probably doesn't understand time, so don't tell her that you'll be back in an hour. Instead, tell her you'll be back when she wakes up from her nap or after she eats dinner. If you make a promise, don't break it. If you tell your child you'll be there when she wakes up, you need to be there. It will make it easier on your child every time you leave her.
Don't plan a long ritual. Make it simple. For example, you might give your child a hug and kiss, give your child her favorite toy, tell her when you'll return and leave. Don't say you're leaving and then stay because your child starts crying. It will only make it harder on you and on your child.
Familiar Object
If you're leaving your child in another place such as at his grandmother's house, make sure he has a couple of familiar objects. Mental health professionals call these "transitional objects," and they can make a huge difference in your child's level of anxiety. Bring her blanket that she sleeps with every night and the stuffed animal she carries around the house.
