Advice On How To Make More Friends

With the advent of social networking sites, some might say it should be easier to make new friends. John Fletcher's April 12, 2010 article in the "Ft. Worth Business Press" points out that social networking sites were originally intended to help people reconnect; in reality, many people are finding it harder and harder to make real, lasting friendships. It's not always easy to make new friends, especially if you're shy. Putting in a little effort by being yourself and finding places where you can meet people who share your interests are the keys to making new friends and developing them into lasting friendships.

Step 1

Find a place where you can meet people with common interests. If you typically stay home after work, try finding a group in your area that interests you on a site such as meetup.com. Do you like to paint, or do you want to learn a foreign language? Try taking a continuing education class at your local high school or library. If you're interested in sports or exercise, joining a sports team or taking aerobics classes at the gym can also be a way of meeting new people. Getting out and being active by doing something you enjoy can provide many opportunities to meet other people who share your interests.

Step 2

Develop your communication skills. In his book, "How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends," Don Gabor points out the importance of good conversational skills when trying to meet new people. Gabor states that in new social situations, many people are so focused on their own anxieties that their conversations fall flat, and people may lose interest in developing the relationship further. Learn to act, especially if you're shy or suffer from social anxiety. When you're meeting new people, pretend you're an actor and act the part of someone who is friendly, confident, relaxed and approachable. Remember the famous quote by William James, "If you want a quality, act as if you already had it." Psychologists and psychotherapists encourage their clients to use this technique when confronted with situations that make them feel anxious. Though it might feel inauthentic at first, using this technique will trick your mind into believing you really do feel confident and comfortable. Practice what you want to say beforehand, and think of some topics that interest you to use as icebreakers. Remember that most people enjoy talking about themselves, so if you feel yourself start to falter, ask the other person a question about their life, for example their family or their work.

Step 3

Take time to develop the relationship. Once you've met someone you think may be a potential new friend, make a point of having a conversation with them every time you interact. Don't be afraid to reveal personal information about yourself, as this can strengthen growing bonds, but be careful not to dump everything about yourself in your first conversation. This can scare people away. Instead, try to focus on being yourself. Invite the person out for a cup of coffee after your yoga class, or ask her to see a movie over the weekend. Make a point of trying to spend time together. Make sure, however, that you are tuned in to the other person's feelings. If they consistently decline your invitations or seem to avoid you when you walk into the room, it may be time to seek out someone else as a potential friend.