3 Ways to Cope With a Dying Parent

1. Don't Isolate Yourself

Friends and relatives can make a world of difference when you're dealing with anticipatory grief. However, it's important that you don't think of friends as therapists ready to listen to you all day, every day. Instead, think of them as friendly ears in moments of despair.

2. Seek Professional Help

If dealing with anticipatory grief is taking a toll in your everyday life, consider talking to a therapist. The same is true if you find yourself looking for comfort in food, alcohol or excessive smoking as a way to cope with the stress of the situation. Feeling overwhelmed is perfectly normal, and a therapist can help you find ways to deal with it in a more constructive manner. Another good option is to look for support groups, which are often organized in hospitals, churches and senior centers. If you have trouble confiding in people around you, look for online help. The Adult-Parents Grief Support Group, for example, is a subscription list through which you can interact with others who have lost or have dying parents.

3. Organize Personal Affairs

You may not want to think about funeral arrangements, wills and paperwork in general when your parent is still alive. However, doing so after his death, while also coping with grief, may be much harder. Take care of everything you can in advance, including paperwork that requires a signature from your parent and things that are simply easier to do now, such as a transfer of home ownership from parents to children. If your parent doesn't have a will, insist on one. This is especially important if you have a large family or if you anticipate conflict regarding possessions or sentimental items. People who are dying are often inclined to take care of these things themselves but often find that children refuse to acknowledge the situation and don't join in the efforts. Rather than avoiding the topic, help the person tie up all loose ends.