According to the National Institute of Justice, 1.3 million women and 835,000 men suffer abuse at the hands of their significant other. Abuse doesn't always enter into the relationship right away; it can take weeks or years before it shows itself. If you know the characteristics of an abusive relationship, you can make informed decisions on whether to continue or let go of the relationship.
Physical Abuse
One of the classic signs of an abusive relationship is when one partner or both begin to inflict signs of physical abuse on each other. This can start during a heated discussion or argument or when the abuser is under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Physical abuse can be anything from cornering the victim and holding her back so she can't move, to striking the victim anywhere on the body. Many times an abuser will lose control and hurt the victim, then say he refuses to allow it to happen again. The National Institute of Justice states that up to one-third of all abusers will strike their victims again within weeks or months. Oftentimes when someone is physically abused in a relationship, her abuser also threatens her. The abused may try to hide her bruises or lie about how she got a broken wrist. She covers these things up so that the abuser will not get in trouble and she can keep their family together and avoid immediate retaliation.
Emotional Abuse
Characteristics of an abusive relationship can also fall under the category of emotional abuse. The abuser may not physically strike the abused partner, but the victim may be hurt and belittled as the abuser tries to take control over her partner's life. Characteristics may include name-calling, stating that her partner cannot amount to anything, is a bad parent or a poor lover and making fun of his physical characteristics. Emotional abuse could also include consistent badgering, yelling and threats. Threats could include anything that would make the other partner feel sad, hurt or forced into something that he doesn't want to do.
Control
An abusive relationship will likely have characteristics of control and power over the other partner. The control is a form of abuse he may use to prevent his partner from fulfilling goals or personal activities related to day-to-day living. Control is often a subdued form of jealousy or obsession. The partner may not want his spouse to go out to the bar or dance hall with her girlfriends for fear she may find someone else. It could also be the fear of the other spouse cheating or conspiring to leave the relationship. Obsessing over his girlfriend's cell phone usage or who she talks to on the computer is a form of control if he monitors her every move. Control can be very damaging to a relationship because it breaks the trust barrier. Control can also lead to emotional outrage, making the other person feel sad, belittled and untrustworthy.
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