Roughly six out of 10 adults report some close connection with adoption, according to the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute. The stigma of adoption has diminished, and many children are in open adoptions where they know their birth parents. Yet even with the openness surrounding adoption, there are some issues with which adoptees struggle. Even happy adoptees have questions that many never be answered.
Abandonment
Many adoptees feel abandoned by their birth parents. This is especially true of children who are in closed adoptions and have no access to birth records or information. That fact, coupled with the decision of many families to shroud the adoption in secrecy, leads many adoptees to feel they were given away because they were unworthy. Some adoptees feel that if their own mother could not love them enough to keep them, no one else will want to keep them, either, reports the Child Welfare Information Gateway. Intimate relationships can be difficult because of this, but most adoptees are able to form long-term, healthy attachments if they work through feelings of abandonment.
Identity Confusion
Some adoptees feel they don't fit in with their peers or their family because they are adopted. They do not look like their family members and may not share the same intelligence or athletic or artistic ability. Open adoption has eased this issue for many adopted children who have a relationship with their birth parent, but open adoption has only been around for 20 or 25 years, and there are still closed adoptions being finalized today. Children who don't know their birth parents will often fantasize both positively and negatively about that family and will find it difficult to be happy with the reality of their life, according to the Child Welfare Information Gateway.
Lack of Medical Information
Many adoptees have no idea about critical medical information that is tied to genetics. While open adoption can offer some information from birth families, those relationships don't always last into adulthood, when diseases such as heart disease, some cancers and diabetes are more often detected. Those in closed adoptions have even less information. Some states have taken steps to remedy this by passing legislation requiring adoption agencies to give adult adoptees medical histories and original birth certificate information that does not include identifying information about birth parents.
