Couples seek marriage counseling for a variety of reasons, according to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Marital problems include issues such as communication problems, substance abuse and extramarital affairs. A counselor can lead the way to working through problems, but professional help is not always necessary. There are several marriage counseling alternatives that can help couples sort things out on their own.
Alternatives
Self-help products are common alternatives to marriage counseling. Many self-help books and workbooks are aimed at identifying and resolving relationship problems. There are also structured DVD programs that can be led by anyone from a credentialed counselor to a self-styled guru. Some churches and counselors offer marriage retreats that offer a weekend or week of intensive work on relationships, or classes that run for a specified time period.
Benefits
Marriage counseling helps many couples, but some do not like to talk to a third party about their issues. DVDs and books let these people maintain their privacy while still providing structured information. Counseling usually takes several months, according to the Mayo Clinic. This can be expensive for people without medical insurance that covers mental health. Self-help materials, classes and retreats only require a one-time investment rather than paying ongoing session fees. The couple implements and practices marriage improvement techniques, gaining valuable experience and learning what they need to maintain their progress.
Drawbacks
Marriage counseling alternatives are generic by nature, because they are designed to appeal to a broad audience. They may not address the specific issues in some couples' marriages, so they will not be effective for those couples. A counselor provides customized help. Alternative methods require full participation by both partners, so they will not work if one person is not completely committed. Some couples lose interest after a while when using books or DVDs, so they return to old patterns. Marriage counseling alternative materials and retreats are usually prepared or run by professionals. However, anyone can write a book or hold a event, regardless of actual knowledge level. Marriage counselors are required to meet certain standards in order to be licensed, so there is some assurance of quality if you choose a licensed provider, according to the Help Guide mental health site.
Selection
The main problems in the marriage need to be identified before selecting helpful materials or choosing a retreat. Each partner should write a list of what he or she sees as the issues. The lists can be compared and discussed, then used as a basis for counseling alternatives. For example, a couple might identify something like poor communication or lack of trust as the major issue. They can look for programs, books and classes aimed specifically at improving this facet of their marriage rather than something more generic.
Warning
Certain serious problems require professional assistance. These include severe drug and alcohol use, and physical or emotional abuse. Marriage counseling should be sought for problems that can cause serious physical or emotional damage to one or both partners.
