As a parent, you are one of the most influential people in your child's life. She looks to you for instructions on how to behave, and your child will emulate the behaviors she observes in you. For this reason, parents should strive to be positive role models for their kids. It is important to understand that a positive role model serves as a guide and a mentor. It requires patience and sincere effort to teach your child how to do the things that you could manage more quickly and more easily yourself; however, a good role model does not attempt to make another person's decisions for her. Instead, a good role model teaches appropriate behavior through communication and example.
Self-Control
Your son will learn to respond to stress and disappointment by your example. In his article "Nine Steps to More Effective Parenting," written for KidsHealth.org, Steven Dowshen, M.D., cautions, "Young kids learn a lot about how to act by watching their parents." Parents who behave aggressively are more likely to have children who behave aggressively, too. On the other hand, if you stay in control of your temper, your children will learn that yelling and acting out are unacceptable responses to frustration. Model self-control for your children by remaining calm and talking through a problem or by removing yourself from a potentially explosive situation until you have a better handle on your emotions.
Problem Solving
You may be tempted to solve the problems your daughter comes to you with; however, if you always take over fixing things for her, she will never learn how to fix things herself. Rather, she will learn that you will solve her problems for her. Not only does this behavior rob her of her accountability; it keeps her dependent on you. "Problem-solve with kids, rather than for them," advises Education.com. Model effective problem-solving skills for your daughter by discussing her concerns with her, allowing her to suggest possible solutions, evaluating with her the pros and cons of her suggestions and supporting her final decision.
Self-Esteem
How you view yourself is another important aspect of being a positive role model for your son. "If [children] see that mom and dad are happy with who they are, then they are more likely to be happy with who they are," points out More4Kids.com. Carefully monitor the messages you send your child about your self-esteem. If you want your son to be confident, happy and optimistic about his life, he needs to see those same qualities in you.
Helping Behaviors
A good role model demonstrates positive qualities through service and helpful behaviors. Your daughter is more likely to integrate positive qualities into her personality if she observes those same qualities in you. "Model the traits you wish to cultivate in your kids: respect, friendliness, honesty, kindness, tolerance," advises Dowshen. Set an example of compassion and selflessness for your child by engaging in compassionate service yourself.
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