Raising well-behaved children is hard work. It takes patience and a cool head so you don't punish in anger. It requires vigilance about praising the positive rather than only pointing out the negative. Raising well-behaved children also requires consistency so that your child gets a clear message of what you expect. As parents, you're also responsible for modeling appropriate behavior for your children.
Time Frame
What constitutes normal or "good" behavior in children depends on the child's age, personality and physical and emotional development, according to FamilyDoctor.org. It's unrealistic to expect children to behave in specific ways if they haven't reached certain maturity levels. If you know what to expect from your children at each stage of development, you will better understand if their behavior is appropriate and normal.
Considerations
Consider how your children react to what you do when they misbehave. Generally speaking, children tend to repeat a behavior when you reward them and stop a behavior when you ignore it, according to FamilyDoctor.org. Consistency in how you react to your child's behavior is important. If you reward and punish the same behavior at different times, you will only confuse your child.
Benefits
If you show your children that bad behavior won't be tolerated and good behavior will receive rewards, you'll teach them learning skills that will help throughout their lifetime, according to FamilyDoctor.org. Both you and your child will also benefit if you accept your child's basic personality--shy, gregarious, active--and plan accordingly. An outgoing, active child can present many behavior problems when bored or confined.
Expert Insight
Parenting often proves harder today because childhood is harder, writes Sal Severe, Ph.D., author of the book, "How to Behave so Your Children Will, Too." Children receive pressure from both their peers and the media, which can translate into behavior problems. Meanwhile, financial and cultural changes put pressure on you as parents. You might feel stressed about financial problems and so your fuse may become short with your kids. As a parent, you will also try to teach your children your values in a society where every family now has its own standards on how to live.
Warning
Parents sometimes resort to physical punishment, such as spanking, to stop a child's misbehavior. Though this can stop the behavior for a while, it doesn't teach your child to change. The physical punishment also becomes less effective over time and can cause aggressive behavior in your child, according to FamilyDoctor.org. In some cases, physical punishment can go too far, and turn into child abuse.
References
- "How to Behave so Your Children Will, Too!"; Sal Severe, PhD.; 2004
- FamilyDoctor.org: Child Behavior: What Parents Can Do to Change Their Child's Behavior
