Self-esteem can have a great impact on children's growth and development. However, parents may be unaware of how their interactions encourage or inhibit self-esteem. By changing the tone and focus of parent-child interactions, as well as listening carefully to and encouraging children when they describe problems outside the home, parents can ensure that their children become strong and confident adults.
Definition
Self-esteem is a sense of worth or value that a child places on herself. This negative or positive judgment can affect a child's efforts and productivity, interactions and collaborations, and decision-making. The National Network for Child Care (NNCC) cautions that parents must learn to accept and love themselves, to raise their own self-esteem, in order to develop the self-esteem of their children. Parents can unintentionally influence self-esteem with negative statements like "How could you embarrass me like that?" or "We're both a little crazy."
Significance
According to the NNCC, children who feel their ideas and efforts are worthwhile and valued may have the confidence to handle new situations, work independently and with others, cooperate and contribute to activities, and behave thoughtfully and appropriately to situations. The Nemours Foundation warns that children with low self-esteem may have difficulty solving problems, decide the outcome doesn't matter, or feel that they simply "can't" accomplish a task. The Foundation describes self-esteem as a balance of two attributes, a sense of capability and a sense of being loved and supported. This balance can enable children to counter conflicts and negative pressures with both realism and optimism.
Features
From learning to walk to learning to drive, children receive messages from adults about their efforts. Over time, children may adopt generalizations, such as "I can't play sports" to shield themselves from future disappointment or embarrassment. Children may withdraw from social, cultural or academic environments because they feel their presence is not valued, which can further hinder their development. And while a child's self-judgment may be flawed, it may be echoed by others out of frustration ("He says he can't do better"), which can perpetuate the problem.
Research
A 1992 study in the journal "Pediatrics" assessed 297 children in an array of afterschool settings. Researchers found that children cared for by siblings displayed unusually lower self-competence, which could have negative impact on their self-esteem and social development. Low self-esteem has also been linked to greater incidence of early adolescent sexual activity and a higher risk of obesity. Obese children with lower self-esteem may be more inclined to pursue high-risk behavior, such as smoking or drinking alcohol.
Strategies
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) warns that self-esteem begins within the family and is based on the family's own self-perception. The AAP encourages families to instill a sense of pride through community activities, documenting one's heritage through a "family tree" or other activities, or caring for extended family members. When interacting with their children, the AAP recommends focusing on individual strengths and contributions, rather than critique and criticism. By pursuing activities as a family and enjoying each other's presence and contributions, children can gain confidence in their own ideas and efforts.
