If you get a hesitant feeling in the pit of your stomach when you're with your current partner, you should listen to it. It's often right. Abusive relationships start out much like healthy relationships, because an abusive person knows his partner will leave if he comes off too strong in the beginning. However, there are plenty of warning signs you should be aware of and looking for at the start of a relationship.
Treatment of Others
At the beginning, he might treat you like gold, but watch how he treats others. If he disrespects the waiter, yells at his mother and demeans his female coworkers, it's a clear warning sign that he has anger and respect issues. Ask yourself how he responds when he gets frustrated. Note whether he stays calm and composed, or if he loses his temper and explodes within seconds. He may not take his temper out on you yet, but if you stay in the relationship long enough, he might. You don't want to take that chance.
Blames Others
Another clear sign of relationship trouble occurs when she refuses to take responsibility for anything and constantly blames others, according to the Lindsay Ann Burke Memorial Fund. Most people understand that they play a role in relationship and work issues and take some responsibility. If your partner doesn't, she might blame you for all the arguments and issues you have together.
Jealousy
Helpguide.org reports that jealousy is a sign of an abusive relationship. Take note of how he responds when you talk about male friends and coworkers. If he seems interested in your relationships with them, encourages you to continue them and would love to meet them, then he's probably confident and won't try to control your relationships in the future. A red flag should go up if he tries to get you to end all relationships with the opposite sex, flips out when a guy checks you out or becomes irritable if you even mention an ex.
Friends
Ask her about her friends and try to meet some of them early in the relationship. Encourage a double date with her friends or invite her to bring a couple friends with her to your softball game. You should take note if she doesn't have any friends, unless she recently moved to the area. See how she interacts with her friends and how they respond to her. You can learn a lot about another person just from meeting the people with whom she hangs out.
Threats or Violence
The most obvious warning signs early in a relationship are threats and violence. If your partner hits you, pushes you or threatens to hurt you, it will only get worse. It's easier to get out of physically abusive relationship after the first occurrence than after a year or two of abuse, because the abuser isn't as emotionally involved and attached. If you're scared to leave the relationship, get help from your local women's shelter or a mental health professional.
