Parenting a child with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder--ADHD--is challenging. A parent who does not have ADHD may experience massive frustration dealing with an ADHD child's unpredictable behaviors. A parent who does have ADHD may experience guilt at having passed on the hereditary condition to a child.
ADHD
ADHD is a lifelong neurological condition, characterized by problems with attention and focus. The National Institute of Mental Health's guide to ADHD, "Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)," discusses three different categories of ADHD symptoms, consisting of extreme manifestations of inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity. Both ADHD parents and children who have inherited the condition from them display various combinations of these three categories of behavior.
ADHD Diagnosis
A physician or therapist may diagnose both a parent and a child with ADHD when a child becomes so disruptive that the parents seek professional guidance. A psychologist or psychiatrist taking a family history may notice that one of the parents has ADHD. Both the ADHD parent and the child usually start various types of age-appropriate drug treatments, psychotherapy, time management and social skills training.
Non-ADHD Parents
An ADHD child's behavior may appear as stupidity or disobedience to a parent who does not have ADHD. A non-ADHD parent can be driven to despair by a child who cannot remember instructions or think before speaking. Once an ADHD child goes on medication and starts receiving therapy, a parent's life usually becomes easier, but teaching the child how to work around ADHD is a continuing task.
ADHD Parents
A parent of an ADHD child who also has ADHD has to process a complex set of emotions. ADHD coaches Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo--authors of one of the first books on ADHD, "You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!"--describe how some ADHD parents feel guilt at passing on ADHD to a child. ADHD parents may feel overwhelmed by trying to manage both their own and their child's ADHD. Both ADHD parents and their non-ADHD spouses can find help for dealing with these complicated feelings at numerous ADHD parent support groups. A good example is the Children and Adults with ADHD, one of the oldest ADHD organizations.
ADHD Benefits
Parents of ADHD children should keep in mind that both they and their ADHD children may have a genetic advantage. In a 2006 study, researchers at the Centre for Advanced Study in Oslo, Norway, suggested that ADHD is found in 5 to 10 percent of the human population, because the characteristics of ADHD people--creativity, impulsivity and "think outside the box" ideas--have been useful to human survival. An ADHD parent and non-ADHD spouse managing a destructive ADHD toddler or mouthy ADHD teenager should keep in mind that it is worth getting vocational and psychological testing to see if the ADHD parent or the ADHD child have any special gifts that are currently hidden.
References
- National Institute of Mental Health: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
- ADDvance: Answers to Your Questions about ADD (ADHD)
- CHAAD: Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder: Finding Support
- "You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!"; Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo; 2006
- "Journal of the Royal Society/Interface"; The evolution of hyperactivity, impulsivity and cognitive diversity; J. Williams and E. Taylor; June 22, 2006
