As children grow, they tend to test their independence and become involved in more complex situations, creating new opportunities for discipline. Parents and caregivers of more than one child may need particular flexibility and focus in order to discipline each child independently. Adults who display a lack of discipline (also known as neglect) may also harm children through a lack of role modeling, supervision, and guidance.
Child Behavior
Child behavior is both age- and situation-dependent. For instance, a toddler may temporarily use "baby talk" after the birth of second child, when the family's focus shifts to its youngest family member. This may be less surprising than a teenager who abruptly begins speaking incoherently or who seems to have confused logic, which may raise questions of abuse, either by outside individuals, or self-abuse with substances. A child's behavior is also greatly impacted by her adult role models, who exemplify standards of acceptable behavior, problem-solving, and conflict resolution.
Child Misbehavior
Children may misbehave because they are not physically able to do what is expected (due to unrealistic requests), are not willing to follow directions (do not respect the request), or have no other way in which to express their feelings (which may have little or nothing to do with a request). Children at different ages may also perceive risk and responsibility in different ways, which can affect the way in which they obey rules or act outside of the home.
Discipline
Discipline helps children to learn standards of acceptable behavior, repercussions for behavior, and life lessons they can use for greater independence, states the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS). Discipline also offers a way for adults to encourage and acknowledge specific behavioral traits. However, severe discipline not only presents a troubled reference point for children, but also can put the child at emotional or physical risk, notes HHS.
The Effects of Physical vs. Verbal Discipline
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) states that physical discipline is not an effective or acceptable solution and has many damaging side effects. Physical discipline can escalate aggressiveness and anger instead creating a sense of control or reason. According to the AAP, research has shown that children who are spanked are more prone towards hitting family members, engaging in criminal and violent activities, or substance abuse.
While the AAP endorses verbal discipline, they caution of its potentially damaging effects. Adults should provide consistent, logical standards for behavior and be willing to discuss children's motivations for and interpretations of their own behavior (as may be age-appropriate). When a dialogue is not possible, the AAP recommends intervention strategies such as withholding privileges or a "time out." The AAP notes that children under seven years of age may need to be disciplined right away, so they remember their behavior and connect it with the ramifications.
The Effects of Neglect (a lack of discipline)
In its extreme form, a lack of discipline (known as neglect) can lead to emotional and physical damage to the child. The Nemours Foundation describes neglect as when a child does not have adequate food, shelter, clothing, medical care, emotional support or supervision. (Neglect is not withholding purchases of a new stereo, computer, or a cell phone for a misbehaving child.) Adults who provide mixed disciplinary messages or who offer uneven discipline to their children may not be neglectful. However, adults whose lack of action places children at risk of physical or emotional harm may be considered neglectful, according to HHS.
Discipline Strategies
In addition to clear and consistently communicating parameters of expected behavior and outcomes, adults can serve as role models of acceptable behavior, states HHS. When possible, the agency recommends that parents ask children to evaluate and reflect on their actions, to foster critical skills and possibly reveal other motivations. The agency also recommends using positive reinforcement, to acknowledge when children act responsibly and focus on examples of positive behavior. AAP encourages parents to reflect on their own conflict-resolution and parenting mistakes, to apologize to children, and to change and communicate new disciplinary policies, as needed.
