1. Adopt for the Right Reason
Many people take the adoption route to start or add to a family for a variety of reasons, from inability to conceive to wanting to open their home to children. Adoptions aren't always planned, sometimes they sneak up on an adult who meets and forms a bond with a child needing a home. Most adoptions occur through public or private adoption agencies. After adoptive parents make an application through the agency, they go through a process of interviews and home studies to assess their suitability as adoptive parents. While male-female married couples used to be the norm, single parent adoptions are on the rise.
2. Open the Adoption Door
For some, going through an adoption agency takes too much time. Another option is pursuing a private adoption through an adoption attorney. Many of these are open adoptions, meaning a birth mother and adoptive parents meet and choose each other. Since the process often starts while the birth mother is pregnant, adoptive parents may participate or observe the birth, even holding the baby soon afterwards. However, some adoptive parents have their hearts broken when a birth mother changes her mind about adoption. States vary in the length of time before an adoption is final, but a birth mother may have up to a year to change her mind. All parties must decide if the birth family will be a part of the child's life or not. The only right answer is what is best for the child.
3. Not Made to Order
When people think of child adoption, often a small baby pops into their minds. However, older children are just as in need of a family as babies. Sadly, many older children give up hope of having a family as they wait to age out of foster homes or group homes. In addition to knowing they're adopted, older children usually have memories of before, which might not be good memories if a child was a victim of abuse or other trauma. Another complication is the presence of biological siblings. If it's not possible for siblings to be adopted into the same family, explore the possibility of arranging regular visits between biological siblings with each of the adoptive families.
4. Go International
Recent years have seen the increase in number of international adoptions from places like China, Africa and South America. When you pursue international adoption, you often work through an agency, but the country's government sets the guidelines for marital status, religion and other particulars for eligible adoptive parents. International adoption comes with a high price tag starting at $10,000 and takes anywhere from seven to 18 months. File an application for advance processing of orphan petition (Form 600A) with the immigration office (USCIS). While you're waiting for approval from the U.S. government, locate adoption agencies that specialize in international adoption.
5. Reach out to Special Needs Kids
Thousands of children born each year come into the world with physical, mental or emotional disabilities. For various reasons, these special needs children cannot live with a birth parent and are put up for adoption. Special needs adoption also includes children at risk of developing disabilities. For example, babies exposed to drugs or neglect are at a greater risk for learning or behavioral problems. Adoption agencies determine the ability of adoptive parents to respond to special needs. It's very important to have a support group in place, from either family, friends or an adoptive parents' support group.
