Children all develop at different rates, but many parents can't help but be concerned if their preschool-aged children are still in diapers when all their friends have long been toilet trained. Parents can rest assured, because all children will eventually be toilet trained. In the meantime, Mom and Dad can try to determine whether the delay can be resolved by slightly altering course.
Readiness
A potential toilet training problem is that the child may not be physically, emotionally or intellectually ready to begin the process. BabyCenter recommends at looking for signs of readiness, rather than assuming her age is the best indicator. She may not be ready if she has trouble following simple instructions, can't completely understand or express words referring to the toileting process, can't keep a dry diaper for at least two hours, isn't patient enough to sit still on a toilet for three minutes or isn't coordinated enough to pull her pants up and down. Alternately, she may exhibit all the signs of toilet training readiness but have no interest in trying. In either case, wait a few months before you encourage toilet training again.
Timing
You may have trouble introducing your child to the toileting process if he is dealing with more stress than normal. If you have a new baby in the family, if you have been traveling a lot, if you have relocated to a new house, if your child has been sick, or if he is still coping with another milestone (e.g. he is transitioning from a crib to a toddler bed), you may want to postpone toilet training until his life seems more stable.
Fear
A child may be enthusiastic about learning how to use the toilet, but she may also be afraid or feel self-conscious. To ease her into the transition, create a sense of calm in conjunction with positivity. Blue Cross Blue Shield of Massachusetts recommends generating enthusiasm and security by buying her cool new underwear and telling her she is a big girl who "gets" to use the toilet any time she is ready. Offer incentives such as star stickers on a chart or a small toy to encourage successes. Fear may also be assuaged by incorporating a sense of fun with potty training. For example, she may enjoy toilet training more if she gets to read a special book or play with a special toy only when she is on the toilet.
Battles
Your child may refuse to toilet train if he is in the midst of testing out his autonomy. After battling over eating breakfast, brushing teeth and going to bed, parents may be too exhausted to battle with their child over toilet training. To ease the struggle with a strong-willed child, parents should resist reminding him to use the toilet and allow him to decide on his own when he will sit down. They should also lighten the mood about toilet training by rewarding positive behavior with positive attention and staying calm about accidents.
When to See a Pediatrician
The process of toilet training can be challenging, but most children will continue to use the toilet once they have finally mastered the skill. On the other hand, KidsHealth says that it is normal for a previously taught child to return to an earlier level of development during stressful times. Just to be safe, if your child has suddenly stopped using the toilet or isn't toilet trained by age three, talk to a pediatrician for advice and to rule out any potential problems such as infections.
