A busy family with time constraints, a full schedule and little time to sit down and eat is hardly conducive to effective family communication. But communication is of utmost importance for your family. Through speaking and listening, you'll be able to learn of your children's wants and needs, iron out any spats or arguments quickly and get to know one another better.
Make Time
Family communication may not happen unless you provide a way for it to happen. With busy lives, it may not always be easy to sit down for dinner and have "how was your day"-type discussion. But you can find opportunities to talk to your children and spouse informally. The car is an ideal place to chat without being interrupted, or you might talk while watching television together. This makes for a low-pressure time to talk to your family.
Take Turns
Too often the parent is the one doing all of the talking. Take turns communicating by allowing your children ample time to express concerns, wishes and anything else on their minds with you. It may seem strange at first to turn the conversation over to your child, but do so knowing that through allowing your child to take the time to talk to you, you foster a healthy communicative relationship with each child that makes it easier for her to talk with you again and again.
Listen More
When feeling attacked, it is only human nature to try and defend yourself. If your spouse or child says something while communicating that you don't like, resist the urge for a rebuttal. Remember that what is being talked about is based on someone else's perception. Don't immediately go on the defensive. Instead, listen with encouraging words, and then take time to think about why those thoughts were communicated to you.
Use "I" Words
When it's your turn to talk, avoid pointing fingers and placing blame. This will only start arguments and hurt feelings. Instead, use "I" statements while communicating to show that you take responsibility for your own reactions. Instead of saying, "You missed curfew last night and are grounded," try, "When you're late it makes me worried about where you are. I instituted the curfew to help you stay safe, and it makes me feel better when you obey it."
Leave the Conversation Open
Many parents will say that it is next to impossible to get their children to talk, and you might feel the same way. When you ask certain questions, your child is less likely to talk because the questions have definitive answers. Asking your son if he had a good day at school may yield a short "no." Change the question so that it's open-ended and invites your child or spouse to take part in the conversation, such as "What was your favorite part of the day?" suggests the University of Delaware Cooperative Extension.
