1. Why Can't we all Just get Along?
The best way to discuss alimony is for the husband and wife going through a divorce to sit down together and discuss the settlement in a civil and mature way. This isn't always possible if you've been arguing through the marriage or if one of you is blaming the other. Set aside your differences, think about what led you to get married to begin with--try to talk about a settlement, and the needs both of you will have, like adults.
2. A Safety net
If the two of you can't agree, one of you may request alimony from the court. When one party has significantly less education than the husband or has been out of the workforce for years while raising the children, there is a temporary alimony called "rehabilitative alimony" that she may be awarded. This type of alimony is intended to provide the spouse who receives it time to find employment or gain the training or education that will enable her (or him) to find employment. The judge will usually limit the duration of the award based on the receiving spouse's needs. If the receiving spouse remarries or gets a job, then this may terminate the rehabilitative alimony before the duration awarded by the court.
3. Who Gets Alimony?
It surprises many people these days to learn that alimony is awarded in only 15 percent of divorce cases. That's mostly because there are more women in the workforce, so they have jobs and a source of income. However, many women still earn less than men. The other surprise, at least to some people, is that men are sometimes awarded alimony too, and not just in celebrity divorces. Men get alimony for the same reasons women do: financial need, physical and emotional health, level of education and earning capacity, and the respondent's fault. Although most states have no-fault divorce laws, if a divorce goes into litigation, fault can still play a factor in granting alimony. Permanent alimony is usually only granted if the party receiving alimony is physically unable to work and needs the support.
4. Get a Mediator
When you and your spouse are thinking about battling out a divorce settlement in court, you may want to consider stepping back, thinking about the cost and hiring a mediator instead. A mediator is a neutral expert who uses a cooperative approach instead of a combative approach to get the two of you to sit down and realistically discuss post-divorce finances. Instead of arguing over how much each of you gets, the usual strategy used by lawyers, a mediator requires you both to agree to look at pre-divorce assets and cash flows. Then, come up with a fair division of existing assets and a fair cash flow to both of you after the divorce, whether that includes child support, alimony or both.
