Cheating in a marriage isn't uncommon. According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), approximately 50 percent of couples who seek treatment are trying to work past an extramarital affair, and 25 percent of husbands in a survey reported experiencing extramarital intercourse. Because cheating occurs in seemingly happy relationships as well as in troubled ones, your intuition should guide you in deciding when to investigate your husband's altered behavior.
Odd Phone Behavior
Your husband may be using his individual cell phone line to his advantage, because he knows that you don't regularly see his call or message history. If he receives mysterious phone calls, hangs up, whispers into the receiver or leaves the room when he receives a call at home, he is hiding something.
Odd Computer Behavior
Your husband may be using the modern convenience of the Internet to cheat without ever leaving the house. If he adds extra password protection to the computer, clears the Internet history on a regular basis, shifts the screen away from your view when you walk into the room or stays up late spending time online, you have a reason to be concerned.
Increased Concern Over Appearance
Unless your husband has a specific reason to suddenly care about his appearance (for example, his high school reunion is fast approaching), he may be gussying himself up to impress a partner on the side. Investigate if you notice that he wears more cologne than ever before, showers immediately when he gets home and dresses up before going on a casual errand.
Extra Time Spent Away
Your husband would need to dedicate a fair amount of time to perpetuate a side relationship. If he is cheating, he may spend extra time at "work," go on more "work trips" than normal or claim to go out with his friends more often than before.
Extra Expenditures
Your husband's financial situation will likely look different if he is cheating. He may have more expensive restaurant trips on his credit card statements, he may open an extra line of credit that you don't have access to or he may try to fully cover his tracks by taking extra cash out of his bank account.
Aloof Personality
Your husband may intentionally be trying to emotionally distance himself from you or inadvertently struggle to act committed to two relationships at the same time. If your husband acts withdrawn or self-absorbed, as though he isn't married, he may be cheating.
A New Friend
If your husband seems to be spending more and more time with a new friend, if you've never been paranoid about his social behavior until now and if he has uttered on multiple occasions, "We're just friends!" you may want to investigate his behavior away from home.
Changes in Sex Life
Unexplained changes in your sex life your husband initiates may indicate that something is going on. If you've been in a sexless relationship for a long time but he suddenly seems attentive, he may be trying to compensate for a new relationship. Alternately, if your once-satisfying sex life has suddenly halted, you have a right to question his behavior.
Extra Focus on Family
A cheating partner may try to make amends for his unfaithful behavior by doting on his wife and children when he's home. Although a husband can randomly decide to change for the sake of improving his relationships, the extra attention in conjunction with other suspicious behaviors may indicate that he is cheating.
Defensiveness
A person with a guilty conscience will do what he can to protect his own interests. Your asking him an infrequent, simple question, such as, "Why didn't you come home after work?" could cause him to put up his defenses. For example, instead of simply answering your question, he may deflect it and instead blame you for not trusting him.
References
- WomanSavers: Cheating Husbands: Top 10 Ways on How to Catch a Cheating Husband
- Woman's Divorce: Signs of a Cheating Husband
- Advice With Dr. Dave and Dr. Dee: Infidelity Warning Signs
- Beyond Affairs: Top 10 Signs of Infidelity
- American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy: Consumer Update Infidelity
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