"Monkey see, monkey do." You have probably heard this statement before, and it most likely applies to your toddler. According to Geraldine Butler and Bernice Walmsley, authors of "Teach Yourself Successful Potty Training," a love for imitating, especially peers, creates a great advantage for children attending child care while potty training. Butler, who has 20 years of experience teaching parents, and Walmsley, a writer specializing in self-help and education, identify several benefits to your child attending day care during potty training. Among them: child-sized toilets, knowledgeable staff, a relaxed atmosphere about potty training and presence of a routine. While it may seem overwhelming to potty train your child when you have to work, joining forces with your child's providers will help. Your and the caregiver's ability to maintain consistency and to communicate can make the difference in the success or failure of the potty training plan.
Importance of Potty Talk
Anne Krueger, in "Parenting: Guide to Toilet Training," echoes not only the necessity of good communication between caregivers and parents, but also agreement and consistency of approach. Krueger, mother of two daughters and former editor-in-chief of "Parenting" magazine, shares that while one daughter's child-care provider made the toilet training experience so great it seemed "effortless," the other daughter's child-care provider created such misery that she moved her daughter to a new child-care situation. "Flexibility" distinguished the two experiences, Krueger notes. The helpful provider communicated and used a child-centered approach to training. The unhelpful provider approached potty training as if all children learn at the same time, at the same age and through the same method.
Readiness
A child-care provider shouldn't pressure you or your child into potty training. Butler and Walmsley stress readiness. No one can make him use the potty if he doesn't want to. Parents and caregivers can communicate about seeing signs of readiness in the child, and they can begin to introduce the child to the idea of potty training in a gentle fashion even as early as age 1. Elizabeth Pantley, author of "The No-Cry Potty Training Solution" and founder of a parent-education company, suggests talking about potty-related terms while changing the child's diaper and discussing his use of the toilet "some day."
Schedule
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics' "Guide to Toilet Training," by Mark Wolraich, M.D., and Sherrill Tippins, group child-care settings often schedule potty breaks at set times. For consistency and practicality, Wolraisch and Tippins encourage you to stick with this same schedule at home. Communicate about your child's response to a set potty schedule. Avoid power struggles over when to use the potty, though. If your child shows resistance to the schedule, suggest allowing your child to go when she chooses.
Accidents
Accidents will happen during the potty training process, so be sure to send spare clothes with your child. Krueger advises parents to find out how the caregivers will respond to accidents. Perhaps they punish children for accidents, or leave a child to wear soiled clothing for long periods to time. By openly discussing the inevitable, you can ensure that you and your caregiver implement the same training plan.
Time Frame
Vicki Lansky, contributing editor to "Family Circle Magazine" and author of "Toilet Training A Practical Guide to Daytime and Nighttime Training," recommends starting the process of potty training before the child-care provider begins the process. She suggests using vacation time to get the process started, or try training for two weekends in a row. Lansky warns that you may need to back off if you and the provider do not see progress after two to four weeks of training. Be forewarned, a child doing well using the potty at school may not display the same level of skill at home. Take heart at this common and usually only temporary circumstance.
References
- "Teach Yourself Successful Potty Training"; Geraldine Butler and Bernice Walmsley; 2008
- "Parenting Guide to Toilet Training"; Anne Krueger; 2001
- "American Academy of Pediatrics Guide to Toilet Training"; Mark Wolraich, MD, FAAP with Sherill Tippins; 2003
- "The No-Cry Potty Training Solution"; Elizabeth Pantley; 2007
- "Toilet Training: A Practical Guide to Daytime and Nighttime Training"; Vicki Lansky; 2002
