The most important fact to remember if your husband raises his hand to you is that it's not your fault. There is never a good reason for a husband to hit, insult or otherwise abuse his wife. But while there is no excuse for spousal abuse, there may be precipitating factors, which can give you insight into your husband's mind and actions while you heal from the abuse.
The second most important fact to remember is that if your husband has abused you once, he will abuse you again--usually within six months, according to TV therapist Dr. Phil McGraw. So it's important to leave the relationship as soon as possible and seek guidance from a program or therapist with expertise in domestic violence.
Substance Abuse
Violent men abuse drugs and alcohol at three times the rate of nonviolent men, according to the Tennessee Association of Alcohol, Drug and Other Addiction Services website. In addition, the website reports that drinking is a precipitating factor in as much as half of all domestic violence incidents and that the chronic drinker is more likely to abuse his partner than the binge drinker who is extremely intoxicated. Drinking not only puts additional stress on the family, but also dulls impulse control, making it easier for the partner to lash out.
Family History
Dr. Phil McGraw suggests that people live what they learn, so children who come from families where there is domestic violence are more likely to abuse their partners as adults. They may see their fathers hit or verbally abuse their mothers, or they may be victims of abuse themselves. An article at mentalhelp.net reports that victims of child abuse often repeat that pattern when they become adults with families of their own.
Mental Illness
Some mental illnesses can make a man more prone to abusing his wife or just more violent in general. They include bipolar disorder, anti-social personality disorder, schizophrenia and borderline personality disorder. Because poor impulse control is a hallmark of domestic violence, attention deficit disorder or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder may also play a role in spousal abuse.
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