Parenting can be one of the most difficult challenges in life. As kids grow up, they become more independent. With this independence sometimes comes behavior problems, as kids test their boundaries and the rules parents and others place upon them. While ultimately you can't force your kids to do anything, some behavior management techniques can help guide your children to make good decisions.
Set Clear Expectations
If children don't know what to expect from you, there's no way they can follow the rules. Set boundaries, rules and limits up front and in a clear manner so there's no confusion. Setting expectations ahead of time lets children know what is expected of them and what will happen if those expectations aren't met. Be consistent with your expectations and rules. Follow through with consequences so your children know you are serious about the rules you set up for them.
Respond Rather Than React
It's only natural to want to fly off the handle when your child does something against the rules. But reacting to a situation hastily can sometimes lead to unmeasured responses, harsh words and hurt feelings. Take some time to properly assess the situation before responding to a rule your child has broken or a behavior she is manifesting. Controlling your emotions will help you teach your child how to control hers and make better decisions in the future. Kids are impulsive. Don't show them it's okay by being impulsive with your response to their behavior.
Catch Your Child Doing Something Good
Too often parents of children with behavior problems are constantly on the lookout for negative behavior. But most kids have a desire to please their parents. Watch for those occasions when your child does something positive on his own without being told or encouraged, and make a big deal about it. Let your child know that you don't just notice his bad behavior.
Address Negative Behavior Without Emotion
Getting mad and upset at negative behavior won't help solve the problem. It may be tough, but respond to bad behavior by simply spelling out the consequences of the behavior and making sure to follow through with those consequences. Letting your child know you are disappointed is important, but don't go out of your way to make her feel guilty or show anger. When children know matter-of-factly that certain behaviors simply have consequences and won't be tolerated, they will be less likely to act out simply to stir up your emotions.
