How Does Nonverbal Communication Affect Relationships?

Nonverbal communication is an important aspect of actual face-to-face interaction. It's also one of the most efficient ways to disclose emotions. Effective nonverbal communication is a powerful skill in which the ability to understand helps you connect with others, express what you really mean, improve interpersonal relationships and manage challenging situations.

Defining Nonverbal Communication

According to Wertheim, nonverbal communication includes body language such as facial expressions, body movements, posture, gestures, eye contact, touch, space and voice. Nonverbal communication uses the total body. It ranges from pointing a finger to verbal sounds of "ahhhh" and "uhum." According to Argyle, the primary functions of nonverbal body communication are to express emotion and interpersonal attitude, support speech/verbal communication in managing cues between the messenger and sender, self-represent one's personality, and maintain rituals such as greetings.

Use in Relationships

Nonverbal communication can positively and negatively affect interpersonal relationships. As interpersonal relationships develop, more attention is given to nonverbal body language. To say you are listening would be supported by your eye contact and position of the body facing each other. Facial expressions would support and/or reflect whether you are excited, thankful, genuine, emotionally affected, angry, uninterested, frustrated or preoccupied. Therefore, nonverbal communication is important to resolving conflict, enjoying each other's company, meaningful conversation and increasing trust.

Harmful Nonverbal Communication

Nonverbal communication--such as pretending to enjoy conversations, mocking or mimicking, and giving misleading cues that you understand the topic--can dramatically affect a relationship. Nonverbal communication that depicts a person with little to no effect at inappropriate times, such as during intimacy or an argument, can also harm the relationship. In addition, a person who has frequent fits of rage and frequent destructive nonverbal communication practices--such as attempting to hit or throw something and/or using the upper body in a threatening manner--can destroy a relationship.

Common Mistakes

According to Helpguide.org, nonverbal communication can hurt interpersonal relationships resulting from misinterpreted gestures--particularly intimate invitations; deliberate attempts to alter body language that reflects the behavior or "acting" or being "phony"; and unsubtle cues that insinuate mimicking another's speech or actions. Other mistakes include body language that contradicts the verbal communication, such as saying you're listening but looking and focusing on something else.

Ways to Improve

Improving nonverbal communication can be done by attending professional or personal effective communication workshops, being open to critical feedback from those you trust, practicing positive and effective gestures and cues, and being open and active in improving yourself.