Anxiety is a normal response to stress, fear or even danger during certain developmental stages. When anxiety spirals out of proportion to the life situation causing it, however, to the extent that it impairs functional ability, it is abnormal and can be diagnosed as a mental health disorder. As children mature, worry about saying or doing the wrong thing can escalate to fear of failure or embarrassment on a grand and debilitating scale. One way to help is to differentiate symptoms of normal and abnormal anxiety in preteens.
Normal Anxiety
Children experience fear as a normal part of their maturation process. However, the difference between normal and abnormal fear and anxiety is primarily defined by functional ability. Avoiding fear is a normal response and helps when dangerous situations are present. Preadolescent anxiety is developmentally appropriate and due to changes in the body, peer pressure, academic and social ability, and exerting independence.
Abnormal Anxiety
The risk of failure and embarrassment can be overwhelming to a preteen. However, fear and worry that inhibit functioning and increase extreme shyness, avoidance, isolation and constant feelings of sadness are considered to be abnormal. Furthermore, when a child has difficulty managing anxiety and fear, the lack of control then worsens their negative feelings of self-worth.
Anxiety Disorders
Abnormal fears and anxiety can result in a diagnosed mental health disorder. Functional impairment at home, in school or with peers, along with persistent irrational behaviors, fears and worry, that lasts for several weeks can be considered a possible disorder, according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th edition.
Children can be diagnosed with any of the anxiety disorders adults experience. Unique to children are separation anxiety and selective mutism (not speaking in particular social situations).
Common Symptoms
Symptoms can be elicited through thoughts, feelings and behaviors. According to psychiatrist Dr. Katharina Manassis, some symptomatic issues of concern are: obsessive thoughts or rituals, constant need for reassurance, difficulties going to sleep, panic attacks, headache or stomach problems, clinginess, and tantrums to avoid fearful situations.
Helpful Insight
Create a strong bond with your child. It is not uncommon for parents to put distance in the relationship when times are tough. This is a time to be firm and select age-appropriate freedom for your child, but to also look for opportunities to get closer and stay connected. Eat meals together, ask for time alone with each child, model positive strategies for conflict, keep things in perspective and choose your battles.
If abnormal symptoms exist, you may wish to seek professional help. There are intervention techniques, counseling and medications that ease symptoms with the goal of overcoming irrational thoughts, feelings and behaviors.
References
- "NYU Child Study Center"; Anxiety in Children and Adolescents; Retrieved May 13, 2010
- "Aha! Parenting"; Ages & Stages > Tweens; Retrieved May 14, 2010
- "Canadian Family Physician"; Childhood Anxiety Disorders: Approach to Intervention; Katharina Manassis, M.D.; March 2004
- "Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th Ed."; American Psychiatric Association
