It is painful to lose someone you love at any age, but it can be difficult especially for children. You, as an adult, have the coping skills available to work through your feelings of sadness, anger and fear, but your child may not. Further, the emotions involved in grieving can be so overwhelming, your son may struggle in his attempts to express himself to you. This can be challenging for the both of you. However, several resources are available specifically for children. With the right tools and support, you can help your child through the process of grieving
Play Therapy
Acknowledging and processing feelings of grief is an essential aspect of coming to terms with a loss. In "Play Therapy Helps Children Grieve," published by the KETV 7 Omaha website, Mary Vondra, a retired nurse and Children's Hospital educator, warns that if your child is young, she may not have the language skills to articulate what she is feeling. The frustration of being unable to express herself verbally, compounded by her sadness or anger, may begin to manifest itself in regressive behaviors, clinging or acting out. Because traditional therapy relies so heavily on communication, an alternative, such as play therapy, may be more effective for young children. Utilizing arts, crafts, dolls and other hands-on activities, children are given the tools to work through their feelings in an environment that is nonthreatening and comfortable.
Peer Support
It may be helpful to your child to involve him in a children's support group. According to the Dougy Center website, the support and compassion of peers who have suffered the loss of a loved one is invaluable. It is helpful to a child to know other children have similar thoughts and feelings to his own. Having the empathy of other grieving kids may also provide him with the encouragement and support he needs to give voice to his emotions.
Online Resources
Several online resources are available to help your child work through the grieving process. Websites, such as the Children's Grief Education Association (CGEA) offer several age-appropriate art and writing activities geared toward helping young children identify their feelings. It also suggests age-appropriate coping strategies to young kids who do not know how to manage their troubling emotions. Furthermore, the CGEA also has a teen page available that outlines common responses to grief and what to expect in the aftermath of a loved one's death.
Books
Books are another good resource available to grieving children. Your child may be reluctant to talk about or remember her loved one for fear of upsetting you or herself. Books about grief and loss may help gently ease your daughter into opening up to you. Stories are a good way to let your child know that it is OK to cry and feel lonely and frightened. The Kids Grief website has complied several book lists for young children, school-aged children and teens.
