Behavior management techniques provide a framework for decreasing children's bad behaviors and increasing good behaviors. For a toddler, biting would be a bad behavior, and sharing with a sibling a good behavior. For a teenager, bad behavior might be staying out beyond curfew, and good behavior might be maintaining good grades. Behavior management plans can be detailed and complex or short and simple to meet the needs of individual parenting styles.
Education Techniques
Behavior management starts with educating children about positive choices, good behavior and correct social interactions. Through storytelling, reading, discussion and role-playing, teach children about respectful, responsible behavior. Provide examples and information about playing with others, not interrupting, using a respectful tone of voice even when angry and solving differences without aggression. Modify the information according to the age and abilities of each child.
Support Techniques
Parents should use reminders and encouragement to guide children to behave appropriately. Before attending a social event, discuss the rules and behaviors required, including using an inside voice, not running off and asking permission to participate in activities. As a child leaves for dinner at a friend's house, discuss table manners and the etiquette of saying thank you. Whenever children have questions about emotional, behavioral or social issues, listen attentively and provide feedback and suggestions.
Positive Reinforcement Techniques
Noticing children making correct choices encourages positive behavior. Encourage appropriate behavior through hugs, compliments and privileges. The University of Michigan Medical Center suggests that parents describe the specifics of the good behavior rather than generalizing. When a child shares a toy with a sibling, provide verbal praise and a hug. An argumentative child who does not argue for a week could make the selection for family movie night. Some children respond to visual reinforcement such as stickers or a behavior chart. Certain pre-determined positive behaviors and choices mean the child earns a point. After acquiring a certain number of points or stars, the child earns extra privileges.
Discipline Techniques
Bad choices and negative behaviors require discipline through negative consequences. The consequence should match the severity of the behavior. In addition, the consequence should connect to the poor behavior. The consequence for back talking might be a timeout and an apology. For bullying other children, the consequence could be not playing with neighborhood children for a week, along with apologies to each child.
Parents should take the time needed to consider an appropriate consequence. The Iowa State University Extension Service reminds parents that a consequence given in anger sounds disrespectful, unkind and like a punishment. They suggest parents tell children that they will get back to them later about the consequence, rather than speaking when mad.
References
- Cooperative Extension Service, Iowa State University: Using Consequences
- University of Michigan Medical Center: Behavior Problems
- "Behavior Management: Principles and Practices of Positive Behavior Supports"; John J. Wheeler and David Dean Richey; 2009
