After studying patients facing terminal illness, Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross described grief as a process occurring in five stages. People might experience grief after the loss of loved ones, after divorces or following serious medical diagnoses. According to the National Institutes of Health, you might not experience all of these stages, and they might not occur in a particular order.
Denial
The first stage of grief is typically characterized by denial. You might respond with shock or disbelief upon hearing news or experiencing an event. You might have difficulty understanding what has happened, and many people report feeling numb. During this stage, you may feel aimless and removed from family and friends. According to the American Cancer Society, "rituals of mourning" during this stage can help provide structure for individuals grieving a death.
Anger
The second stage of grief is also sometimes referred to as the confrontation stage. During this time, you will likely feel intense emotions as the initial numbness subsides. You might blame others or yourself for what has occurred, and you might feel guilty for things you did or did not do. You could feel resentful of other people, particularly if you have lost a loved one and they have not. This period can be the most acute phase of grief, and having adequate emotional support can help.
Bargaining
The bargaining stage is usually characterized by a desperate hope of somehow reversing the bad news. During this stage, a woman whose young child has just been diagnosed with cancer might promise God that the family will start attending church if her child lives. In the bargaining stage, it might be hard for you to accept that there is simply nothing you can do to change what has happened.
Depression
During the depression stage of grief, you might experience profound sadness, tearfulness and despair. Many grieving people have difficulty sleeping or eating, and may withdraw from others during this phase. According to the National Institutes of Health, acute grief typically lasts for approximately two months, though milder grief symptoms can continue for a year or longer. If you continue to experience severe and pervasive symptoms of depression for more than two months, it could mean that your grief has led to major depression, and you should see your physician.
Acceptance
The final stage of Kubler-Ross's model is acceptance. During this phase, you will slowly adjust to daily life in your new circumstances and come to terms with what has happened. Though the pain might become less severe over time, you will likely still feel occasional sadness, and certain events could trigger grief again. There is no set timetable for when you should be "over" your loss or stop grieving.
