The national divorce has declined slightly in recent years, yet still rests firmly around the 50 percent mark, estimates the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. While typically, the five stages of grief are used for coping with a loss following death, they can be applied to the feeling of loss immediately following a divorce. Much like death, a divorce signifies the sometimes abrupt ending, which can leave you feeling empty and depressed.
Denial
You can experience denial through the divorce period, even if you were the spouse that perpetuated the divorce. Denying that the dissolution of your marriage is happening and thinking about better times is a common way to deal with the initial grief from the divorce. You may be under the impression that you can still work it out, or tell your friends that you are merely separated, when in fact the marriage is over. You might also ignore the signs of divorce, says Divorce magazine.
Anger
Anger often comes along with blame; you might blame your spouse for ending the marriage, blame yourself for not trying harder or blame individuals that you feel had a hand in the divorce. HelpGuide.org notes that although anger is a natural part of the grieving process, it also robs you of energy and takes away from precious healing time. Instead of looking to get better and heal, you spend time feeling spiteful and resentful toward your spouse and the circumstances of your divorce.
Bargaining
When it comes to death, bargaining is often done with a higher power in order to end the pain. With a divorce, you may find yourself bargaining with your spouse, saying that you'll change or try harder; anything to make the marriage work. You may also submit to a higher power, asking for an end to the pain or to have your spouse fall back in love with you.
Depression
As you come to the realization that your marriage is in fact finished, and no amount of bargaining or resentment will change it, depression can set in. You may feel uninterested, listless and sad most of the time. Depression is normal, but the symptoms can be debilitating. At this time, you might cry or feel unstable; surround yourself with people who care and who can help raise you from your depression. The U.S. National Library of Medicine notes that acute grief lasts about two months, so if your depression persists, contact a health care provider.
Acceptance
As you become acclimated to your new way of life and changing relationships, you'll eventually experience acceptance of your divorce and the power to move on. Now is the time to venture out socially, spend time with friends and regain your life. You'll have time to redefine yourself and while the divorce may still be painful, it will no longer be the foremost thing in your life.
