The stages of grief usually apply to grief following the death of a loved one. When you suffer a breakup from a relationship, however, you can apply the same stages of grief to your feelings immediately following it. Understanding the five stages of grief as it pertains to a breakup can help you understand your feelings and eventually learn to heal as you progress from denial to eventual acceptance.
Denial
After spending time with your significant other, a breakup can leave you in denial, pretending as if it's not happening and everything is going well. A sudden change to your lifestyle can feel abrupt, and you may not want to acknowledge what has taken place. You may tell friends you're "on a break," insinuating that you'll get back together, instead of accepting the breakup and moving on. Denial is a normal part of the grief process, and you shouldn't feel ashamed if you don't want to admit the change in your relationship status right away.
Anger
Anger can cause you to place the blame of the breakup squarely on the shoulders of your significant other. College News notes that anger is often the result of one partner betraying the trust of the other, but even if the breakup is technically your fault or idea, you may still feel angry that you were driven to the breakup. Contain your anger and make sure that you don't use it against your ex in a way that could be deemed abusive. Find other ways to release your tension, like exercising or working.
Bargaining
Bargaining is a natural part of the grief process. As you finalize the breakup, you may suddenly feel desperate to fix things. You may plead with your partner to take you back and promise to change. If you believe in a higher power, you might submit to prayer in the hopes that your ex will change his mind and want to come back as long as you promise to be a better person. In the end, bargaining can make you feel depressed and lonely when the terms are denied.
Depression
After your bargaining goes in vain, depression follows, making you feel sad and upset about the state of your relationship and your life. The University of California Riverside says that depression can manifest in many ways, including frequent mood swings, loss of interest, a change in eating habits or a change in weight. The U.S. National Library of Medicine cautions that the typical grief curve lasts about two months, and that suffering from depression longer than that could warrant a trip to see your doctor for treatment.
Acceptance
As you ascend from your depression, you'll likely realize that the reality is you have suffered a breakup and it signifies the end of your relationship. While acceptance doesn't necessarily mean getting over the breakup, never feeling sad or always being happy, it shows that you understand the situation and feel ready to move on with your life. Acceptance allows you to seize control and find peace and calm following the breakup.
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