Acceptance of The Unacceptable

I woke-up this morning to read the following "quote for the day" in my email "in-box" from one of my favorite authors and Zen Master Teachers, Cheri Huber:

Nonacceptance is always suffering no matter what you're accepting. Acceptance is always freedom, no matter what you are accepting.

Yeaaaaah....ok......right. Things that make ya go......Oooohhhhmmmm.......

I don't know about you, but "acceptance of the unacceptable" has been, and remains one of the greatest challenges or "opportunities for growth" in my life.

Damn it to all hell... why does "life" have to be filled with so many "unacceptable" aspects to it? Why can't everybody, everywhere, just "shape-up," "do the right thing," and "get along" while treating each other with tender loving care, concern, and kindness?

It is so difficult for me to understand why some people do what they do at times -- especially when it causes harm to another.... why, why, why... ???

Epiphany moment!!! LOL! HAHAHA! No doubt, at least in part, this is why I became a psychologist... to try and "figure it all out" with the hope that once I do... I can "fix it!"

Well... let me tell ya what immense life experience has taught me through "the school of hard knocks" so far...

The fact of the matter is, I really can't do anything to "fix" anybody else... nope... no matter how hard I try.... I just can't do it.... only they have he power to choose what they are going to do, then do it. I may have the power to inform them on matters or influence them in a variety of ways, but the ultimate decision on what, when, where, why and how other people are going to do what they are going to do rests "souly" on them -- not me -- not you.

Unfortunately, the reality is sometimes other people are going to choose to do things we don't agree with, that we find unacceptable in any myriad of ways, and sometimes those actions are going to hurt us, disappoint us, and cause us pain -- that's life. But as Cheri Huber reminds us, we don't have to "suffer" at their hands if we can learn to accept the unacceptable, do what we can to "do the right thing" for our-Selves and our part, then let go of our hurt feelings, disappointment, and pain, and move on.

If you find this as difficult to do in your life, as I have in mine, then perhaps these tips on on "acceptance" will help you too. No one ever said it would be "easy" but it is as simple as 1-2-3:

(1)Change your definition of "acceptance."

If you "buy into" popular definitions of acceptance you may believe that in order to "accept" some aspect of your life whether it be a person, place, thing, or set of circumstance you have to define it as "acceptable." As such, this may be causing you untold suffering because you find whatever it is so damn unacceptable.

The ticket to freedom in this regard can only be found when you change your definition of the word to include the understanding that acceptance of what is, does NOT necessarily mean you find it acceptable.

(2)Remember, what you resist persists -- acceptance is for YOU!

Like forgiveness, your acceptance of your life circumstances, is for YOU! It sets you free from all those painful E-motions associated with "unacceptability."

What you resist persists.

Negative E-motions cause you pain... but it is our tendency to hang-out to them that causes use suffering.

Life can be painful at times.. but it is our inability to accept that pain... choosing to let it run in us, of us and through us, instead of hanging on to it... that causes us suffering.

Negative E-motions may cause us pain....but it is our resistance to accepting it that causes us suffering.

(3)Don't give-up, or give in, just accept, let go, and move on with your life!

Keep in mind, that although you have may have chose to "accept" some aspect of your life, it also does NOT necessarily mean you are going to participate in whatever it is or give up on changing whatever you can to make this world, your life, a better place -- meaning YOUR part.

Just because you accept something doesn't mean you have to become someone else's "doormat" or set your-Self up to be hurt time and time again. Simply choose what you need/want to do for your-Self and your life, then take response-ability for doing it, and move on.

In closing, please also remember this: You cannot receive a gift you do not accept.

So come on... I dare you... JOIN ME... accept the unacceptable... and receive your "gift"... LIVE STRONG!