In nearly all types of relationships, be it intimate, friendly or working, conflict is a fact of life. There are strategies for resolving conflict when it arises. And while the nuances of conflict can vary depending on the type of relationship, these strategies can help you resolve just about any type of conflict if used correctly.
Collaborating
Also known as "I win, you win." This strategy involves teamwork, cooperation, validation of other points of view and a little creative negotiating. The goal is to satisfy both parties while maintaining the relationship. This type of conflict resolution requires a great deal of trust, according to course materials found on the Southern Nazarene University website, so people don't think the other is trying to get one over on them.
Compromising
"You bend, I bend." The mindset behind this strategy is that it's all right to meet in the middle or give a little to get a little. If a compromise can be achieved, it ensures that both parties maintain at least some of their original positions. According to Centerstone, a non-profit mental health care provider, compromise also requires validation or taking a genuine interest in understanding the other person's point of view. You can't compromise if you don't know what the other person wants.
Accommodating
"I lose, you win." This strategy, according to course materials found on the Southern Nazarene University website, is usually employed when one party simply hopes to appease the other person rather than engage in a conflict or risk potential harm to the relationship. This strategy is used in a number of circumstances, including when the issue is not as important to one person as it is to the other, when one person realizes she is wrong and can't win or when one person is willing to let the other learn from an experience, even if he is making the wrong decision.
Competing
"I win, you lose." This type of conflict resolution is normally used by someone who chooses to use power to get his or her way, according to Southern Nazarene University. In most circumstances, it's used because the goal is extremely important to the person or she is standing up for her rights or position in the hope of not being taken advantage of.
Avoidance
"No winners, no losers." While this is technically a type of conflict resolution, the main goal of avoidance is to ensure that no conflict takes place at all by withdrawing, sidestepping or postponing confrontation. According to clinical psychologist Dr. Larry Nadig in Relationship Conflict, avoiding conflict isn't always healthy and in fact can damage relationships.
Setting Ground Rules for Fair Fighting
Most people have probably at least heard of the "rules for fair fighting." There are many different variations, but most come to the same conclusion. There are a set of rules that should be followed during a conflict to ensure that everyone's feelings and viewpoints are respected and protected.
Examples of fair fighting rules, according to the University of Texas Counseling and Mental Health Center, include remaining calm, dealing with a single issue at a time, avoiding insults and accusations and setting a time limit to resolve a conflict. If it can't be resolved in one hour, stop, and continue the discussion at a later time.
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