Communication is at the heart of all relationships, according advice website Relate.com. Improving your communication skills leads to more successful personal, social and business interaction. Remember that you communicate with more than your words: Pay attention to your nonverbal messages and to your listener.
Planning
Take time to decide what you want to say and how you want to say it. Should your delivery be merely factual, or do you want to use emotion to get your point across?
Clarity
Match your nonverbal behavior with your message. Northeastern University points out that you clarify or confuse with the behavior you choose. Your listener may understand your nonverbal message more easily than your words. For example, if you smile while you're scolding a child, he might continue his negative behavior, because he's seeing approval.
Posture
Stand or sit the appropriate distance from the person with whom you are speaking. If you get too close, he may be uncomfortable. Use body posture that fits your meaning: Turning away shows lack of interest, while leaning over him can seem threatening.
Facial Expression
Use your facial muscles to emphasize your message. Smile, frown, raise your eyebrows or wrinkle your nose to underline what you say.
Gesture
Use your hands and arms with thoughtfulness. Pounding the table adds force to your message when you want to be especially assertive. Spreading your arms as you talk can be a sign of openness and warmth.
Voice
Choose a tone that tells your listener how you feel. A quiet voice sounds encouraging. A strong voice gives the impression of confidence, while a loud voice could well alienate your listener.
Speech Rate
You can speak slowly, pausing to check understanding, or speed up on less-important matters. Check the "tune" of your voice: It can rise in annoyance or drop sympathetically.
Listening
Listen actively by giving the speaker your full attention. Let him finish what he has to say before asking questions to clarify his meaning. Check that you understand him before you respond.
Communication Style
Recognize your usual conversation style, so that you can adapt it at will. The SBA Women's Business Center suggests that an aggressive style may work for quick decisions, while a passive style fits the bill for trivial issues. An assertive style often feels right: respectful of others but clear about your message.
Listener Preferences
People think differently, writes Sue Knight in "NLP at Work." Some think visually, some favor a sound-based system, and others tend to think in terms of feelings. Listen to your communication partner for clues to his preferences, then use a similar style to influence him.
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