When a loved one grieves, all you want to do is intervene and fix the problem. Too often, that is not an option. Sometimes the best thing you can do is help your loved one navigate the grieving process. Learn some grief-counseling techniques and use them to support your loved one. Remember to maintain a caring, never judgmental, attitude. The grieving process is difficult, but over time the pain will lessen.
Know What to Expect
A grieving person typically follows a predictable progression of emotions, according to the State University of New York at Buffalo. The first stage is denial or shock, when a person cannot believe that a loss has actually happened. The second is anger. Expect a grieving person to exhibit fury at the unfairness of the situation. Third is bargaining. For example, a person may attempt to make a deal with a deity in an attempt to change the situation. The next three stages are guilt, depression and loneliness. Then a person hits the stage of acceptance, and begins to deal with the situation. The final stage is hope, when remembering the loss is no longer a painful process. Although not everyone will go through all these stages, this progression is typical of many grieving people.
Listen Carefully
You may be tempted to intervene and offer advice, but it is best to allow a grieving person to talk it out. Encourage the expression of feelings and the acknowledgment of pain. Don't crowd out genuine emotions by minimizing the person's sadness. Instead, commiserate and share your own stories of similar losses. If you developed ways of dealing with loss that helped you through a tough situation, share them. But always keep in mind that the person is working through something, and your support and love will do far more to help than platitudes or irrelevant advice.
Offer Assistance
One of the best ways to help a grieving person is to offer assistance. Offer to cook dinner, pick up dry cleaning, clean up the house---whatever the person needs. During a period of grief, simple tasks may seem difficult or impossible to a grieving person. If you can step in and help keep things organized, the person can focus on healing. For example, there may be numerous phone calls that the person must make to other family members. Make as many of those phone calls as you can. It will give the grieving person a chance to take stock of the situation without the unnecessary burden of responding to other people's feelings and needs.
