1. Prepare Yourself for the Confrontation
You need to be cautious when confronting someone who exhibits signs of anorexia. If a friend or loved one is anorexic, she has become emotionally fragile and may have tied her identity to being thin. She may also be suffering from another mental disorder. According to one study, 66 percent of anorexia sufferers also have obsessive-compulsive disorder. Other disorders such as depression, anxiety and even borderline personality disorders are also common.
Make sure to arrange a time to talk when your friend has no other concerns, and organize your argument beforehand. Rehearse what you'll say and anticipate her response. This will help you to be more confident when confronting your friend and help you to think on your feet during the conversation itself. Preparation will also help you work out any feelings of anger and concern, allowing you to talk to the person calmly.
Finally, create a list of resources to give your friend. Provide the name and telephone number of a good doctor or a psychologist. You may also want to direct her to websites that discuss anorexia, such as the Mayo Clinic's and the National Eating Disorders Association's websites.
2. Stick to the Facts
When you talk to your friend, be gentle. Don't accuse her of being anorexic or having a problem. Instead, mention the signs of anorexia you've noticed. Mention her falling weight, ill health, whether or not she looks too thin and any other signs of anorexia, such as missing her period or if she constantly mentions that she's fat. Once you're finished, give her time to answer your concerns.
Your friend will probably deny being anorexic no matter what you say. According to a Mayo Clinic specialist, young women with anorexia are usually in denial about their condition. If your friend is under 18, tell someone about her problem. Your best choices are her parents or high school guidance counselor. If your friend is 18 or older, then the conversation is finished. You can't force her to get help. Give her your resources, tell her that you care about her, and let her know that you will talk with her about her symptoms later. Keep in mind that your goal in this confrontation is not to get your friend to acknowledge her problem and get treatment. What you're doing is planting the idea in her mind that she might have an eating disorder. Eventually, she'll realize it and seek treatment on her own.
While you are talking, don't get upset at the person. At best, you won't help her. At worst, you may cause her to avoid speaking to you completely and continue with her anorexic behavior.
3. Follow Up
Make sure you follow up after speaking with your friend. According to the Anorexia Nervosa and Related Eating Disorders, Inc., a non-profit anorexia support group, untreated anorexia is fatal 20 percent of the time. When you follow up, don't nag at the person. Simply ask whether her symptoms have improved, then let the matter drop. Remember, you can't force her to get treatment. What you're doing is letting her know you care.
One of the best methods of following up is to simply be a good friend. Take her out to places where people are enjoying themselves and eating normally. Some good examples are a mall, a fair or a carnival. The more she sees that she doesn't have to starve herself in order to look good and be happy, the more likely she is to want to be cured.
