The Infidelity Facts website states that up to 41 percent of spouses who cheat actually admit to their affair. The other percentage doesn't get caught and they continue to lie to their spouses about sleeping with someone else. Everyone knows someone who has had an extra marital affair or been affected by one. Finding out that a spouse is cheating can have a devastating blow on the entire family, not just the spouse. The lack of trust and emotional bonds that have been broken in a marriage can easily send a couple to divorce court. Understand what drives some people to cheating on their spouses.
Escape From Reality
One reason a spouse may cheat on his wife is because he is looking for a type of escape from his everyday life. According to Lifetips, the spouse may justify the affair in his mind if he tells himself that he needs a break from the mundaneness of his everyday living. This includes everyday pressures, such as work, arguing with spouse about finances, disciplining children and household chores. The escape is meeting with his mistress and thriving off the attention she gives him physically and mentally. He feels needed, unlike when he is at home.
Detachment From Spouse
As marriages step out of the honeymoon phase, the reality of being together daily and sharing a home can separate couples mentally and physically. Slowly they may detach themselves from each other by spending more time apart, taking on more hours at work or going out with friends. This detachment in some instances could lead to an affair. The reason is the wife is away from her husband engaging in activities independently. The positive attention of another male as a friend or a lover could lead her to pull away from her spouse and seek out an affair. The Mayo Clinic states an affair can start when the cheating spouse is feeling a stronger connection to his lover at the moment rather than his wife.
Sexual Addiction
Some people suffer from sexual addiction. Psych Central defines sexual addiction as being a progressive intimacy disorder. The patient can have compulsive thoughts and desires pertaining to sexual acts or fantasies. In a marriage, if a husband suffers from sexual addiction he may seek out negative ways to fulfill his impulses. This could be through meeting other individuals online who are looking for a sexual relationship or he could seek out pay for sex acts. This can be detrimental in marriage breakdown when the wife finds out about the affair.
Sexual Experimentation
In some cases a spouse may unhappy with his sex life. It may involve his partner not wanting to explore different positions or sexual acts in the bedroom. Psychology Today reports that affairs are not always spontaneous and sometimes months of careful thought go into acting on a sexual invitation from a friend or co-worker. This could result in an affair, especially if he meets someone who wants to experiment with the same type of acts he does such as role-playing or dominatrix behavior.
Unresolved Issues
Some marriages happen for the wrong reason. If a spouse has unresolved issues with his past such as not having closure on the relationship or not being able to get past deep rooted feelings, an affair is possible. Once he contacts his lover, there is a possibility they could talk about getting together one last time. "Psychology Today" explains that meeting with an old flame can bring about both unpleasant feelings such as guilt and shame but also joy. If they can both get past their history and the time spent apart, they may reach out for an affair. While you should be able to trust your spouse in most circumstances, if he is thinking about his past lover, he may have an undisclosed affair without your knowledge.
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