Grief means you have lost someone or something you love. Everyone's response to loss is different, from the mental, emotional and physical effects to the duration of bereavement. There is no timetable for how long it should take, nor is there one clear-cut way to grieve, but the purpose of the process is to heal and return to some sort of normalcy.
Causes of Grief
Grief is most associated with the death of a loved one, but you can grieve any loss. The death of a loved one can be the most intense grief, but you can experience grief with the loss of job, financial stability, a friendship, a marriage, safety after a trauma, your health or a cherished dream. A miscarriage, death of a pet or a serious illness of a loved one can also cause grief. Even subtle losses can cause grief, such as graduating from college, moving away from home, changing jobs, retirement and selling your family home, according to Helpguide.
Physical Effects
Grief can manifest itself in physical symptoms. The sadness, stress and sorrow can cause stomach pain, intestinal and digestive upsets, loss of appetite, loss of energy and sleep disturbances, according to Mental Health America. Grief can weaken your immune system, opening you up to getting sick. Existing illnesses can worsen. The physical effects generally subside when you fully deal with the feelings that accompany the loss.
Mental and Emotional Responses
Every person and every loss is unique, so your mental and emotional responses to the loss are just as unique. Common emotions are denial, confusion, shock, sadness, guilt, despair, humiliation, anger and yearning. If you do not allow yourself to deal with your feelings and shut down completely, the grief can lead to anxiety attacks, chronic fatigue and depression. Allow yourself to grieve so you can cope with the loss.
Stages
The stages of grief allow you to come to terms with the loss and return to normal routines. You may move through the stages in any order, skipping a couple or heal using completely different stages. The common stages of grief outlined by Dr. Elizabeth Kübler-Ross are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
Coping
You must find your own way of coping with the grief so you can come to terms with the loss and look back with fond memories of what you lost, instead of the sadness. The Elizabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation suggests support groups, therapy with a mental health professional, cathartic journal writing, healthy diet, exercise and adequate rest. Some find it helpful to look for comfort in faith and places of worship. Seek comfort through culturally appropriate rituals that help you find closure to the loss. Avoid making any major changes, such as moving, switching jobs or changing your marital status. Do not try to hold back your emotions. If you feel the tears coming, let them roll.
