While it is a common occurrence among many toddler-aged children, hair pulling is often a frustrating experience for parents. Most toddler-aged hair pullers outgrow the problem as their expanding vocabulary allows them to better voice their frustrations. By practicing consistent discipline and offering positive reinforcement to children when they do not pull hair, parents can put a stop to this problematic behavior.
Significance
Hair pulling at various toddler stages occurs for different reasons. To handle it appropriately, you need to find out why your child engages in the behavior. Toddlers who pull the hair of other children or adults usually want to gain some control over their environment. Those who pull their own hair might find it a soothing sensory experience or a useful addition to their tantrum repertoire. Heidi Murkoff, author of "What to Expect: The Toddler Years," suggests that the poor social skills and limited vocabulary of toddlers renders them incapable of using words to express their anger and frustration, leading to biting, hair pulling and other problematic behaviors.
Considerations
Mark W. Roberts, a professor of clinical psychology at Idaho State University, found three main reasons behind toddler hair pulling. As part of their curiosity and interest in cause and effect, toddlers 12 to 18 months old often pull hair to incite a reaction. They also might pull hair as a defense mechanism to make other kids stop taking their toys. Two- to 3-year-old toddlers often pull hair to try to control a situation--for example, if an older sibling refuses to share a toy, she might pull his hair to make him cry out. If he cries, an adult might intervene and force him to share, or he might think twice before refusing to share in the future.
Misconceptions
Pulling your own child's hair to "show him how it feels" usually backfires and can result in increasingly aggressive behavior. By demonstrating the same behavior you want your child to stop, you send mixed signals to him about the appropriateness of the behavior. It also models that hair pulling can change somebody's behavior--exactly the message you do not want to send.
Prevention/Solution
Respond to hair pulling with a calm, consistent approach that addresses the issue while demonstrating the futility of the action. If your child pulled her playmate's hair to capture a toy, quickly return it to the friend with the firm admonishment "No pulling hair." If your young toddler makes a game of yanking at your hair, calmly tell her, "No, that hurts." Take her hand and show her how to touch your hair gently.
Warning
Children who routinely pull their own hair often do so because it provides a sensation that feels good to them. This can grow into a compulsive behavior, known as trichotillomania, which can lead to bald patches and damaged hair. According to the Trichotillomania Learning Center, parents can intervene and possibly stop this behavior before it becomes a lifelong habit. If your child routinely pulls her own hair when she is worried or stressed, talk to your pediatrician so he can help you develop a plan of action for eliminating the behavior.
References
- Baby Center: Hair Pulling
- TLC: Toddler and Pre-school Hair Pulling
- "What to Expect: The Toddler Years"; Heidi Murkoff; 1994
- The Children's Hospital at Westmeade: Trichotillomania
