During the stressful divorce process, parents sometimes forget that children have rights, too. The two adults involved usually are not the only individuals who are experiencing feelings of frustration, anxiety, loss and anger. Despite their own conflicts at the time, parents can help make the situation less stressful for their children.
Right to Love Both Parents
Children have the right to love both their parents without feeling guilty. Divorce is a difficult time for the entire family. However, children continue to need both parents to play an active role in their lives, and as such should be able to see either parent at any time. A child should not have to choose one parent over the other no matter what the circumstances for the break up of the marriage. For this reason, parents should never place their children in the middle of their disputes. It's important to keep in mind that children aren't equipped to handle adult problems.
Right to Have Parents Share in Their Care
The UNICEF Convention on the Rights of the Child states that it is the responsibility of all adults to base decisions on what is best for the child. When it comes to a marriage ending, parents need to think about how their choices are going to affect their child, and not base any decisions on their own personal emotions. Whether or not parents share legal custody, both parents should continue to share in the responsibility of caring for their child and guiding him as he grows. It's important for parents to listen to a child, ask him what he thinks, allow him to express his opinions and encourage him to participate in the decisions directly affecting his life. Parents should respect what a child is thinking and feeling, although it may be necessary to consider a child's age and maturity when taking the child's views into account.
Right to Know What to Expect
Parents should give children enough information about impending separation or divorce in order to prepare them for the changes coming to their lives. While children do not necessarily need to know everything about the situation, parents should try to be as honest as they can, and respond to any questions or concerns a child might have as directly as possible. Parents can help to alleviate many of a child's fears about her parents separating by offering reassurance and support, and explaining just what in the child's life is going to change. When it comes to younger children, it may be more practical to keep the explanations simple yet give the child the answers she needs.
Right to Continue Extended Family Relationships
Children have the right to continue to see relatives from both parents' families. Parents do not have to be married in order for extended family members to still be a part of their lives. Divorce should not be responsible for weakening a child's ties with the noncustodial parent's side of the family. According to the Australian Institute of Family Studies, research suggests that when this does occur, it may not necessarily be due to the custodial parent denying access, but rather because the other parent fails to visit the children. Often the noncustodial does not take the children to visit grandparents and other extended family members. However, in some cases, grandparents actually have more contact with their grandchildren following divorce as they may take on a greater childcare role.
