Communication involves listening, as well as speaking. But listening involves more than merely hearing the words directed at us. Good listening is active. It means focusing on verbal and nonverbal cues and interpreting the message. While some people are better listeners than other, most people can develop the skills to be a good listener
Focus on the Speaker
For best listening, sit where you can see the other person clearly. If you're in a classroom or lecture hall, sit near the front. This will eliminate distractions and help you to focus on the speaker.
Study Nonverbal Cues
Pay attention to the speaker's body language and facial expressions. They can give you clues about what she's trying to express.
Ask Questions
Stay involved in the conversation by asking questions. This helps you stay focused and clarifies any vague points. It also shows the speaker that you're paying attention.
Make Encouraging Comments
You can also provide encouraging comments such as "I understand" or "I'm sorry to hear that." This lets the speaker know you're paying attention.
Don't Interrupt
Wait for natural breaks in the conversation to ask your questions. Give the speaker plenty of time to express herself. Interrupting may cause her to shut down before she has delivered her entire message.
Empathize
Even if the speaker is telling you something you don't want to hear, try to see the situation from her point of view. Try to set aside your own emotions for the moment.
Reflect Interest With Your Body Language
Lean toward the speaker. Make eye contact. Nod. Let your body telegraph that you're involved in the conversation.
Don't Think Ahead
Resist the urge to prepare a mental argument and instead try to simply listen to the message the speaker is delivering.
Repeat Salient Points
Show you understand the speaker's message by repeating the main points when it's your turn to speak. This gives the other person the opportunity to clarify if you've misinterpreted.
Don't Offer Advice Unless Asked
Sometimes someone only wants to unburden herself. You don't have to try to fix the problem or tell her what to do. Offer advice or an opinion only if the speaker asks for one.
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