Former First Lady Barbara Bush once said, "To us, family means putting your arms around each other and being there." The family unit has changed drastically from the 1950s, when June and Ward Cleaver headed up the perfect American family. In many families, individuals often focus on their cell phones, computers and video games instead of enjoying family meals together. Learning how to take the time and effectively communicate with each other can build stronger relationships between the parents, the children and the family unit as a whole.
Make the Time
Although families communicate with each other throughout the day about things like carpools, soccer practice and homework, many do not set aside time to really talk with each other. Each time you create an opportunity for quality communication with your family members, you lay another brick in the family's foundation. Start by turning off the television and doing something together as a family. Choose to play a game, take a walk or simply enjoy a meal together.
Effective communication is especially important in raising healthy, productive children. Make sure that you set aside one-on-one time with your children. The Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration stresses the importance of active listening and asking questions, and states that, "Children have a lot to share when they think their opinions matter."
Learn to Listen
Effective listening involves being approachable, available and nonjudgmental. Effective listening also includes understanding nonverbal language, because people also communicate with their posture, facial expressions, tone of voice and gestures. According to Clemson University, the key principles of active listening are to encourage, clarify, restate, reflect, summarize and validate. In your family communications, be sure to appear engaged and be interested in what others have to say. Try to see things from the other person's point of view, avoid being critical and avoid jumping to conclusions.
Express Your Feelings
When family members don't express their wants, desires and feelings with each other set, they set themselves up to play the blame game in the future. Mind reading is a myth. Families need to be upfront with each other. For example, perhaps you expect that if you have a nice dinner ready for your husband when he comes home from work, he should take you out to a fancy restaurant on the weekend. Since he cannot read your mind, he does not know what you expect from him. When that fancy restaurant does not materialize, you become angry and blame him for not fulfilling your expectations. Relationship consultant George Harris says, "To resolve this, we need to observe when we run our lives by should or expectations and instead then communicate to others our desires and make agreements with each family member."
