While the loss of a pet may seem small to someone else, when your pet dies, it can feel like you've lost a member of the family. As you grieve over the loss of your pet, you may find yourself experiencing the five stages of grief, as presented by psychologist Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. The five stages of grief are a healthy and natural way to experience and mourn the loss of your pet, and they can be formatted to help you understand your emotions directly following the loss of an animal
Denial
At first, you may deny that something has happened at all. If you've known about your pet's demise, perhaps through an injury or illness, you may have seen the death coming for a long time. But denial is your body and mind's way of shielding you from the shock of losing your pet. A study performed by the Department of Animal Science at the University of Hawaii and published in a 2009 issue of the Bulletin of the Menninger Clinic found that after losing a pet, subjects could suffer from emotional symptoms as serious as post-traumatic stress disorder.
Bargaining
If you believe in a higher power, you may find yourself bargaining with that power to take away the hurt and pain of losing your pet, or asking that your sick pet be given more time on Earth. If you don't believe in a higher power, you may find yourself making deals with your pet or yourself, that you'll be a better person or owner if only your pet will survive, notes PetEducation.com. It is your way of trying to take control of an often uncontrollable situation.
Anger
Anger follows the denial and bargaining stages because it is usually when you realize that nothing can be done. You might project your anger upon someone who injured your pet, or blame a veterinarian for not caring for your pet well enough. HelpGuide.org notes that friends and family may devalue your loss or make light of it, which can cause you to become angry with them as well.
Depression
When you realize that no amount of anger or accusations in the world can bring your pet back, you can slide into a deep depression. The Humane Society of the United States notes that you may feel socially withdrawn. The sight of other pets might cause you grief. Although you might be tempted, the Humane Society warns against getting a new pet, especially as a way to ease depression. A new pet could be a daily reminder of your painful loss if you are not yet ready to bring one into your home.
Acceptance
Acceptance is a time when you begin to accept and understand the loss. While it may not be any less painful to talk about it, you understand why it had to happen. This is an ideal time to have a memorial, or create a memorial piece of artwork for your home that you can remember your pet by. As you accept your loss, you may find a healthy outlet for your grief. Pet loss support groups, foster care for animals or talking to someone about your loss can help you heal.
References
- PetEducation.com: Grief and the Loss of a Pet
- PubMed.gov: Bulletin of the Menninger Clinic: Complicated Grief and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder in Humans' Response to the Death of Pets or Animals
- HelpGuide.org: Grieving the Loss of a Pet
- The Humane Society of the United States: Coping With the Death of Your Pet
