Are you trying to figure out the best way to handle your child's difficult behaviors? Learning how to work with your child and find the best tools possible will make life easier for you, your child and your family. Difficult behaviors in children need to be addressed and understood so they can be prevented in the future.
Stay Calm
When your child is behaving inappropriately, take a step back. Yelling at him or arguing will only make him angry and potentially give him more fuel to continue the behavior. According to supernanny.com, "Be aware that children readily absorb the emotionally climate around them--so if you're wound up, so will they be." Take a deep breath and discuss the issue when the dust has settled. Once you are both in a more rational state of mind, have a talk about the behavior and it's consequences. It will be an easier conversation if you are both calm.
Listen and Understand
When your child behaves poorly, have a conversation with her about what happened. Ask questions and try to get a good sense as to what caused the behavior. What made her act the way she did? How did she feel about misbehaving? Get an idea of what was going through her mind at the time. Your child will appreciate being heard and feel more open about talking to you, if you let her know that you are willing to understand her feelings.
Problem Solve
Once you have a better understanding from your child of what caused the behavior, try to figure out with him how he could have handled the situation differently. What are some other choices he could make next time when placed in the same scenario? Analyze the choices, helping him know that he is part of the decision-making process for future instances he may be in. This will help him feel empowered.
Positive Reinforcement
Don't come down too hard on your child. Follow through with punishments that you feel are appropriate, but note something that she has done well throughout the week so as to make her realize that you recognize that she doesn't always behave poorly. If your child sees that you take note of the good that she does, it will be a positive push for her to make good choices as she goes through her days. She will think twice before behaving poorly again.
Be There
Always be available for your child. He wants to know you are there to support him, no matter what he is going through. Having someone to lean on and discuss things with is crucial for children. Check in with him on a weekly basis and ask him how he is doing and how his days at school are going. Letting him know that you are there will help him have more discussions and make better behavioral choices.
A Step Further
If you feel that your child's behaviors are continually getting worse and that there is no means to an end, seek help. If you see changes in your child's behavior or physical symptoms, ask for a referral from a pediatrician. The problem could be physical, dietary or emotional. Getting to the root of the issue will give you a better understanding of what is causing your child's behaviors so you can handle them in a productive and efficient way.
