1. Understand the Cause of the Behavior
People with personality disorders are rarely capable of acknowledging that they have a problem. When pressed about it, they will resist very strongly, and getting them to change can be extremely difficult. If you believe a friend or a loved one has a personality disorder, start by learning everything you can about the condition and look for evidence in his life so you can help him understand and admit the problem.
2. Show Patience and Understanding
Recovery for someone with a personality disorder can be slow and painful, even if she is able to admit to her condition. Be gentle yet persistent in getting her to seek help. Learn not to take her outbursts personally, but recognize them as a part of her disorder. If therapy is an option, look for an experienced therapist who is willing to put in the time to address a personality disorder, as it requires much more effort than it would with milder conditions. Encourage her to keep at it, as therapy can take 1 year or more and will only work if the patient wants to change. Support and encouragement on your part can make the effort easier.
3. Look After Your Own Needs
Supportive does not mean codependent. Enabling the abusive patterns of someone with a personality disorder will not help him, nor will it allow you to live a healthy life. Cultivate relationships with other people. Establish friendships separate from him and engage in hobbies that don't involve his participation. Many types of personality disorders involve emotional manipulation as a means of making you feel guilty or obligating you to tolerate certain activities. Don't fall for it. Learn not to be baited by inflammatory or abusive remarks. At the same time, don't allow yourself to be bullied or coerced into allowing his behavior to go unchallenged. Set firm boundaries and stand by them.
Speak to a therapist on your own if you believe it will help you to address your loved one's condition. In an extreme case--one in which abuse continues and he is repeatedly unwilling to acknowledge his responsibilities--you should consider ending your relationship and severing all contact. In the end, he is the only one who can address his personality disorder.
