Although all toddlers experience some episodes of aggressive behavior, some are more aggressive than others. Often, this is due to their innate temperament or personality, but the dynamics of a toddler's family, community and culture can play a role as well, explains the North Carolina Cooperative Extension Services. Learning about aggression helps parents better understand how to prevent or manage this behavior in their own toddler.
Tantrums
Toddlers express aggression in different ways, but temper tantrums are common at this age. Dr. Robert Needleman, contributor of DrSpock.com, explains that over 80 percent of all toddlers at least occasionally have tantrums by the age of 2. While this normal, tantrums that occur more than three times a day or last more than 15 minutes may indicate the toddler is unusually aggressive and may need outside help. Temper tantrums may include hitting, punching, kicking, pushing, biting, throwing toys or purposefully holding the breath or vomiting.
Prevention
Many toddlers act aggressively when they feel their parents or caretakers are not giving them the appropriate attention. Allowing toddlers to make choices can help, explains DrSpock.com. Although the toddler might not have a say in whether or not he is allowed to play with knives, having a say in what shirt he'd like to wear or what to have for snack can allow him to feel a sense of control without suffering any potential negative repercussions. Limiting the time spent watching television, especially shows or movies that depict any fighting or violence, may also reduce the likelihood of aggressive behavior. In fact, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children under the age of 2 not watch television at all. Ample time to play outdoors allows them to blow off steam and avoid aggressive outbursts.
Management
While most toddlers are unable to see things from other people's perspectives and have limited empathetic skills, many respond well to consistent consequences. Therefore, parents should provide consistent, clear and logical consequences whenever a toddler displays aggressive behavior. For example, if a parent or caregiver always removes a child from the play area when she throws her toys, she soon learns to expect this consequence and eventually avoids throwing toys. While specific consequences vary depending upon the individuals and circumstances, parents may choose to redirect the negative behavior, take away a toy or place the toddler in time out. The AAP recommends that a toddler spend one minute in time out for every year of life, so a 2-year-old would ideally spend two minutes in time out as a consequence for her aggression.
Misconceptions
The medical advisory board of BabyCenter.com explains that yelling or hitting a toddler as a response to aggression is likely to get him more riled up and may amplify the situation instead of defusing it. Since toddlers look to parents and caregivers as role models, it also reinforces the idea that yelling and hitting are appropriate things to do when people are upset. The AAP notes that one of the best ways parents can teach toddlers appropriate behavior is to control their own tempers when upset. When parents express anger in calm, peaceful ways, toddlers are more likely to follow that example.
When to Seek Help
Although many parents can handle their toddler's aggression on their own at home, the behavior of some toddlers requires more intervention than parents can provide. Toddlers who remain unusually aggressive for longer than a few weeks, physically injure themselves or others as a result of their aggression or are sent home from school or barred from play with others may need the help of a counselor or psychologist, suggests the AAP.
