The scars and bruises of emotional abuse may not manifest themselves outwardly the way wounds from physical abuse do, but they are no less devastating. Abuse crosses all ages, ethnicities and genders. It can exist within any relationship: that of friend, lover, caretaker, spouse, sibling, parent or child. Understanding and recognizing abusive behavior is the first step in getting help for yourself or someone else.
Defining Abuse
Emotional or mental abuse is frequently overlooked or dismissed. You may be quick to chalk someone's behavior up to having a bad day or a bad temper, or being an alcoholic; whatever the reason behind a person's behavior, if they demean you through words or actions, it is abuse. Abuse also includes controlling behavior, such as preventing you from working, receiving medical care or spending time with friends or family. Abuse creates an atmosphere of fear.
Types
Some abuse takes on a sexual element. An abuser may make sexual threats, derogatory sexual remarks, or force the person he's abusing to watch sex acts.
For other people, emotional abuse takes the form of neglect. This occurs when an abuser withholds access to the basic necessities, such as food, medical care, hygiene or shelter.
Abuse can be verbal. If someone constantly belittles, insults, threatens or humiliates you, it is verbal abuse.
All types of emotional abuse have one thing in common: an element of control. An abuser uses or manipulates information, language or basic necessities to create an environment where he has complete control over his victim.
Effects
Emotional abuse has devastating physical and mental consequences. Children of abuse develop phobias, anxiety, depression and other behavioral and learning problems. A 1993 study by Kurtz, Gaudin, Wodarski and Howing at the University of Georgia School of Social Works, published in the journal "Child Abuse & Neglect," showed that neglected children have severe delays in academic development. Abused children have problems trusting others and regulating their emotions. As adults, they have difficulty maintaining healthy interpersonal relationships. Alcohol abuse, drug addiction and depression are common.
Many abused adults suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder and have less ability to cope with problem situations. In their study published in the "Archives of Family Medicine" in 2000, Coker, Smith, Bethea, King and McKeown found that psychologically abused women have more health problems than women who do not experience abuse. This includes ulcers, diarrhea, indigestion, stammering, migraines and chronic pain.
Signs
A person suffering from abuse may become withdrawn and stop participating in activities he previously found pleasure in. Increasing isolation from acquaintances is common, as is plummeting self-confidence and self-esteem. The abused person may seem fearful of an abuser, which manifests itself in several ways. She may be reluctant to socialize with others, or to have others around her abuser. The abuser may check up on her with a frequency that is inappropriate. A marked change in behavior or personality is another indication of abuse. Abused children display signs of extreme anxiety, fear and inappropriate behavior. They may seem withdrawn or show either a lack of attachment or excessive attachment to parental figures.
Getting Help
Resources are available for children and adults who wish to end an abusive situation. If you suspect a child you know needs help, consider contacting the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline. If a child comes to you for help, offer him unconditional support without minimizing or denying what is happening to him. Let him know he did nothing to cause his abuse. Intervening on your own may endanger the child's life; contact the police or social services rather than confronting the child's caretaker.
For other types of abuse, the National Domestic Violence Hotline offers help and advice. Every situation is different, so take caution if you suspect abuse is occurring.
References
- Clearinghouse on Early Education and Parenting: Child Maltreatment: Effects on Development and Learning
- PubMed.gov: Maltreatment and the School-Aged Child: School Performance and Consequences
- Archives of Family Medicine: Physical Health Consequences of Physical and Psychological Intimate Partner Violence
- Helpguide.org: Child Abuse and Neglect
- Helpguide.org: Domestic Violence and Abuse
