All relationships, personal and professional, encounter conflicts, according to Luisito S Dingcong, MD, a psychiatrist in Clearfield, Pa. Conflicts can lead to increased stress, just as stress can lead to increased conflicts. Learning to deal with conflicts and stress can improve your health, happiness and relationships.
Conflict Definition
A conflict is a disagreement where two or more people identify a potential threat to their needs, concerns or interests, according to the human resources department at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. Many levels of disagreement can occur, from simple misunderstandings to strong disagreements. Conflict between two people can easily lead into a conflict between groups of people. Many times conflicts involve no true threat to a person's needs, concerns or interests, just a perceived one.
Stress Definition
The body produces both physiological and psychological reactions, called stress, to the demands of life. Any time your brain identifies a possible threat, it releases a signal to the body to release hormones. These hormones produce a fight-or-flight response. You either confront the situation or avoid it.
Conflict and Stress Relationship
Most people associate conflict with yelling, getting upset, possible violence and much stress. Yet, increased stress levels often can lead to more conflicts, according to Dr. Dingcong. Conversely, fearing conflict may increase your stress level and cause you to avoid the conflict or settle for an outcome that does not satisfy you. This increases your stress level and your risk of conflict. Putting a stop to this never-ending cycle requires learning how to resolve conflicts properly and how to manage your stress.
Conflict Resolution
An assertive attitude benefits people during conflict resolution. Conflict resolution requires an open mind, active listening, calm attitudes and a willingness to compromise, advises Dr. Dingcong. Find a time and location where all participants feel comfortable and calm prior to starting to resolve any conflict. Discuss and fully understand one side of a conflict before presenting the other side. Continue discussing possible solutions until both parties agree on a compromise. Remember to keep an open mind, pick your battles, know when to let something go and be willing to forgive. In situations where the other person refuses to hear your side of the story, stay calm. Reassure the other person that you understand his thoughts and feelings and ask him politely to allow you to speak for a moment without interruption. If this still fails to work, explain that no resolution to the conflict can be resolved at this time and set up another time to try again. If this still fails, seek outside help for resolving the conflict, whether through a counselor or a supervisor.
Stress Management
Healthy stress management starts with identifying your stressors, identifying what role you play in each of the stressors, and looking at how you currently cope with your stressors, according to HelpGuide.org. You can decrease your stress levels by learning to say "no", expressing your feelings openly, focusing on the positive, avoiding people or situations that cause you stress, avoiding discussions about emotional topics, being willing to compromise and improving your time management skills. If you cannot change your stressors, you should change the way you look at your stressors. This may mean accepting that you cannot control or change every situation. Do not forget to make time for relaxation techniques, fun and enjoyment.
References
- Dr. Luisito S Dingcong, MD; Private Psychiatrist; Clearfield, Pennsylvania
- Human Resources Department at the University of Wisconsin-Madison: About Conflict
- Mayo Clinic: Stress Management
- HelpGuide.org: Stress Management
