Being involved in an abusive relationship can not only cause a person to feel worthless, it can also lead to physical trauma and even death. And, sadly, relationship abuse isn't uncommon. According to a 2000 National Institute of Justice survey, approximately 1.3 million women and 835,000 men in the United States are physically assaulted each year by an intimate partner. Moreover, a 2003 data brief by the Bureau of Justice Statistics found that 1,247 women and 440 men were killed by an intimate partner in 2000. Recognizing warning signs of relationship abuse may prevent future tragedies.
Although abuse can be physical, an abusive relationship may not involve hitting or bruises. Abuse can also be emotional, financial or sexual. In most forms of abuse, an abuser may make the abused partner feel increasingly threatened, humiliated and trapped over time in order to gain control over that partner. Also, according to the Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness, abused partners often feel as though they are responsible for their own abuse, although no one person can ever coerce another into becoming abusive.
Warning Signs
Recognizing early warning signs may help many escape abusive relationships. According to the Nemours Foundation, an abusive person may try to control parts of his partner's life, make frequent attempts to put down or humiliate his partner, twist the truth to make his partner feel responsible for his actions, demand to know where his partner is all the time, consistently act jealous or angry, make uncomfortable sexual advances or threaten to harm himself or his partner.
Signs of Abuse in a Friend
A friend may not admit to being abused by her partner if she is afraid to leave for any reason. According to The Nemours Foundation, signs of abuse in a friend may include unexplained injuries such as sprains and marks, excessive guilt or shame for no obvious reason, additional secrecy and withdrawal from loved ones and avoidance of social events with poor excuses.
Escape Barriers
Although outsiders may not understand why a person would choose to stay in an abusive relationship, some circumstances may make escaping particularly difficult. The Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness lists multiple reasons why abuse persists in some relationships. Some examples include: financial dependency upon a partner, fear of being alone, isolation from support systems such as friends and community, lack of information about resources, fear of partner acting out on threats, concern for a partner's well-being, hope that a partner might change, shame, guilt, external pressures---from religious, cultural or familial sources---to stay in a relationship, fear of deportation, fear of separation from children and fear of removing children's stability.
Getting Help
If you are in an abusive relationship, plenty of resources are waiting to lend a hand. Open your phone book to find a list of crisis centers and hotlines, or visit the online resource, "National Domestic Violence Hotline," listed at the bottom of this article. If you are afraid to contact one of these organizations from your own home, approach a local religious leader, a school counselor or a doctor; they can help you locate suitable resources.
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